My wife is crazy scared of spiders. One time she called me at work because she was convinced there was a black widow in our bathtub. I told her I would get rid of it when I got home but she couldn’t stand the idea of it being in the house with her. She got a can of lysol and practically emptied it onto the little arachnid and left it to die. Of course when I got home it looked nothing like a black widow… but don’t try and tell her that. 
By PVG viagra
aaaah par of my post missing!!!
…before he bargain something >,
WTF?!?!?!?!?!
NOW IM PISSED
T_T
i still meant to say that luckily where i live we have no deadly spiders and only 1 species of snakes that CAN(but mostly not) kill
Yeah, I think it was seven spiders in your lifetime, if not, then a year.
I’d use that vaccum for de-facing purposes.
And Arctic Fox…keep doing that and you’ll end up like the German woman who burnt her entire house to the ground with that can and lighter…
Since some of you are trying hold a conversation in the comments here I decided to install a proper forum. http://www.thebookofbiff.com/forum
So is he sucking up the spider on the ceiling, or if he getting off the floor where the spider is?
Well, at least we know how he gets around his home now, what with the floor being lava in that one room.
Spider is great, Chris. Biff touched a nerve and got lots of comments. I love your comic.
That’s such a stupid myth.
Q. Do spiders crawl in my mouth and nose while I am sleeping?
A. I think it would be highly unlikely that spiders would crawl into a person’s mouth or nose while they sleeping. For one thing we move around a lot while we are sleeping and this would deter a spider from even crawling on you, let alone enter any orifice, especially one which is wet and dark. Breathing through your mouth or nose would also deter a spider from entering and most house spiders are too big to fit into a nose in any case. Spiders, like virtually all arthropods, flee from breath. After all, there are lots of vertebrates that eat arthropods, and if you’re an arthropod and something is breathing on you, it’s not a good idea to stick around.
For a spider to get into your mouth while you’re sleeping, (a) you must have your mouth open when you sleep, which is certainly not something that everyone odes, so there’s a big chunk of people who can never swallow anything; (b) there has to be a wandering spider in your immediate vicinity, also something which–for most people in the civilized world, at least–is a fairly rare occurrence; (c) the spider has to either jump or fall into your mouth from a long distance, because they won’t go near your mouth otherwise (they’re not suicidal), and the odds are pretty astronomical of a spider randomly dropping into your mouth from the ceiling.
There is a story about humans eating eight spiders a year in our sleep without knowing it and that it was supposedly tested by filming people in their sleep for a year. It is hard to believe that a group of people in different sleeping situations would have been filmed for a year or more to validate this statement. It is possible for a spider to walk into your mouth and trigger the swallowing mechanism at the back of the throat and this could in fact occur on a rare occasion. It may even be true that there are a few people out there who have unknowingly eaten eight spiders in the last twelve months. This still would not make such a generalisation be considered as true. I certainly wouldn’t lose any sleep worrying about spiders while you sleep!!
http://www.spiderzrule.com/answers.htm
i love the fact that your wife called you while you were at work.
my older sister called me at work once when our parents were away because of a spider on the celing. i ended up wasting my entire 30 minute meal break trying to convince her that there was nothing i could do until i got home. next thing i know, she decided to come visit me at work because she couldn’t stand to be in the house with it. unlike your wife, she wasn’t even brave enough to attack it with.
i will admit though, it was a rather large spider.
My favorite is the jumping spiders.
I can top most of the large spider stories. There are these spiders down here in Florida “Wood Spiders”. These are NASTY little things. VERY cranky and mean, they’ll actually JUMP at you! Anyways, there was one about the size of my open hand on my wall one day. I almost dies. I run screaming from tiny spiders, like the size of a thumbtack’s top. That think almost gave ME a heart attack!!!
Btw, I LOVE the comic!
so true
*spider unplugs vacuum*
Wow I love how most of the world is scared of spiders, but here in Aus, there are just so many of them.
I had a funnel web in a jar next to my bed for a few months, there is a 10cm huntsman living somewhere near my shoes and I’m not sure what it is that lives in the curtain at the head of my bed.
I wouldn’t want to be bitten by a funnel web, but other than that, they don’t worry me.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! that is abnormally funny! I have no idea why. i laughed so loudly my dog got scared and ran away.
That’s really odd.
When I was about 14, a bunch of white tail spiders ended up in my room (may have had something to do with a large collection of fossils and rocks and bits of wood that occupied my desk for a long time) and I got bitten at least 7 times. I ended up in hospital (much to my disgust, I was admitted the day before the Savage Garden concert I’d been looking forward to for around 6 months) to have a large lump of infected flesh removed from the back of my thigh, the result of the combination of one bite going particularly bad and contracting golden staph (Staphlococus Aureus, not sure of spelling) from an earlier trip to the hospital for one of the other bites.
And I still have no fear of spiders. If it wasn’t illegal here, I would most definitely have a pet tarantula. Even white tails, even though they did cause me a lot of pain (I passed out halfway through the concert when the morphine they’d pumped me full of wore off.. they would have ended up dead in their beds if they hadn’t let me go) cause me no anxietly.. they just get picked up with a glass and a piece of paper and taken outside.
As I kid, I did manage to have a few Avondale spiders as pets.. they’re the ones they used on the movie Arachnaphobia.. but while they’re biggish, they’re not even a little bit poisonous.
Used to be scared of em as a kid, now i actually put those daddy long leg critters (if they ain’t spiders, then what? i dunno..) in my bedroom just to kill off the mosqito’s. For some reason, they seem to like it here enough to start breeding.
That myth of eating spiders in your sleep would explain where they go when i can’t find em..
That’s funny, because I use the vacuum to suck up spiders so I don’t have to get close to them. I have arachnophobia.
So my husband’s parents own a farm, and when we were engaged I flew up to see him and stayed in the “cabin,” an old house that was already on the property when they bought it. They’ve added on to it and it’s habitable, but not pleasant for people who don’t like bugs, like me.
One night we finished watching a movie and my then fiance went back to his parent’s house. It was late and I was tired, but I needed to go to the bathroom. I had been told to shake the towels before using them because spiders might get in them and I had seen spiders outside (they have a ton of what they call cat-face spiders that get HUGE) so I was careful. I checked the bathroom floor, walls, behind the toilet, everything was all clear. I sit down on the toilet, and then all of a sudden I see a gigantic wolf spider in the middle of the floor. I proceed to freak out (mostly because it was 2AM and I was already a little stressed because of wedding preparations) and managed to creep along the edge of the wall to the door. Note: this bathroom is only about 8 square feet. It’s teeny tiny.
So I grab a bottle on special spider killer thats ays on the bottle “kills on contact”. It lied. I emptied about half of that bottle and the spider was still moving around. So now I’m freaked out, the spider is till there and now there’s a puddle of poison on the floor. I was tempted to just use a fly swatter on it, but then I would have had to get close enough to use the fly swatter and that just wasn’t happening. So I run to his parent’s house and down to the basement and get my fiance. We try to go back up the stairs, but guess what” THere’s a spider on the stairs, and on the ceiling. We get outside, there are dozens of daddy-long legs running around and a horde of ants swarming a dead bird right next to the front door of the cabin.
It was all sorted out in the end, but that story has gone down in my in-law’s family history. And, funnily enough, they live in such a small town that when we went to Sam’s club (which is an hour away) the next day my mother-in-law’s best friend’s sister asked, ” So, how was the spider incident?” oy vay.
spiders are delicious! on toast! grilled! yum!
My sister is afraid of spiders. If there is a little spider anywhere she’s at, she yells for me to take care of it. I then go, catch the spider in my hand, start to take it outside, and she yells at me to kill it. I put it outside.
Oh, and Biff is reminding me of Ernest from “Ernest goes to jail” when the floor polishing machine went haywire. that’s the best movie ever.
Spiders rule! I love spiders. Muahahaha, they shall take over the world
!
I used to be terrified of spiders and very comfortable in the dark. Now the dark makes me nervous and tarantulas are no big deal.
Little spiders, tho, the kind that JUMP and disappear….
last night i was on my deck and there was this huge spider(body the size of a quater not including legs)on my sliding door leading outside and i freaked. I started screaming and crying so i went in the house and my dog was looking at me like i was crazy(german sheperd she is now dead).then my dad came out and set the spider on fire and while it was on fire it fell off of the door(thank god).i am just terrified of spiders. they can me the size of a mustard seed and i will freak out and start crying.
they can BE the size of a mustard seed and i will freakout
wow, that’s just too insane.
I won’t kill most spiders because of the off chance they might help control the fly population. Black Widows are the exception—I kill them. Since my brother is somewhat afraid of spiders (I don’t think he has panic attacks when he sees them), I carry them outside fairly often. Just one little thing—I try my very best not to touch a spider with my skin, because I’m afraid to be bitten—even if there’s no way that tiny creature could possibly even pinprick me. I remember playing with little jumping spiders about 6mm long, though, so I haven’t always been so cautious.
I’m TERRIFIED of spiders.
I bit a spider once. Now it has all the powers of a man! It fights spider-crime.
We watch a lot of science fiction. There seem to be a lot of giant spiders crawling around in sci-fi and fantasy movies. I’m afraid of spiders, and have to close my eyes. My husband has to tell me when there gone. Which is fair, because I have to tell him when the CSI autopsy scenes are over.
Formula 409 kills spiders and insects and cleans up afterward.
I had a pet black widow a few years ago, her name was hillary, and she was actually very well behaved. It’s really amazing to drop a couple crickets in there for her and see that she can tell the difference between the crickets and my finger, and by that, I mean when I stuck my finger in there, she would retreat to her corner. The best part is she never once bit me. No, I do not fear spiders unless they jump out of nowhere, it’s not the bite that scares me, it’s the shock that there’s something leaping out. Yeah, my parents took me to see Arachnophobia as a kid because it was advertised as a comedy.
And for reference, yes, I do have common sense, I simply choose to ignore it.
My sister once sprayed a spider with so much Lysol, it disintegrated. Which was kinda gross.
Deter, lol.
As for the comic: What if it crawls up the cord?
The spiders in my basement are the size of small cars. Fortunately their population is kept low by the rogue death-turret population. The spiders can hide in shadows the size of a quarter, and a single bite turns a person into an astronaut.
I kill black widows, but I’m always glad when I see wolf spiders in my home; they’re very efficient hunters, and often take out other spiders, but they’re extremely non-aggressive and have excellent vision, so they almost never bite people. They are, however, very fond of hanging out in the open, and so are quite easy to kill (much easier than many of the more dangerous spiders they hunt).
I allways try and let a spider or 2 run free in my room. They keep out the two most vile of creatures on the planet. Prissy people and mosquitos
I used to be the official spider killer at our house. I enjoyed it quite a bit too. The fun wore off after my sister had me get a decent sized one in her room. I was bored so I scooped it up in a little paper cup dumped hairspray, air freshener, glue, and who know what else on it. I found that cup again a week or so later and for some reason turned it upside-down over the toilet. I was amazed when I found that the spider actually poured out. I was thinking something along the lined of “Holy crap! I just liquified a spider. How can I possibly top this?” It’s just never been as fun since then.