My wife is crazy scared of spiders. One time she called me at work because she was convinced there was a black widow in our bathtub. I told her I would get rid of it when I got home but she couldn’t stand the idea of it being in the house with her. She got a can of lysol and practically emptied it onto the little arachnid and left it to die. Of course when I got home it looked nothing like a black widow… but don’t try and tell her that.


i was bitten by a spider once
now i fight crime
no joke.
i freaking hate spiders of any kind
I’m not afraid of spiders, but I can see how
a vacuum that powerful could be useful.
I love spiders. Not so much that I’ll pick them up, but enough that I’d rather catch it in a clear container, look at it for a little while, and then let it go outside.
If his vacuum is that powerful, I would think he’d have problems when he tries cleaning his house…
That’s an awesome vacuum.
i love spiders, they catch mosquitos so i wont have to
I hate spiders, I’m allergic.
So I am extremely scared of them, I could die if one bit me. I would get along great with your wife, I’ve pulled the same move.
I’d love to have that vacuum if all the spiders in my house stayed somewhere other than the ceiling. All of them stay up there, just beyond the reach of anything I could use to kill them. My parents insist daddy long-legs are good spiders, but the only good spider is either far away from me or dead.
Interestingly, my mother actually caught a black widow in a jar about three weeks ago. Had the hourglass and everything. It was still alive when we gave it to the bugman this Tuesday. Though, judging on how fast it pounced on the last bug I pushed through the air hole, it was probably hungry.
Yeah, Biff reminds me of my Dad like this. He is terrified. If he knows there is one in the ouse he leaves ’till I get rid of it. Especially if it is a redback. Oh the fun I have….
Biff, if you’ve got such a powerful vaccuum, you should just suck up the spider from across the room.
I think having it flying towards him defeats the “Spiders are scary” bit of the comic.
Still, he can now use the vacuum to slide around the ceiling, he pushes of from one wall and has a lot of fun whizzing around.
Eleanor, that’s an awesome idea.
Damn spiders. Both my little brother and I are really scared by them, so when we had a spider at the house, we usually hid behind the sofa or something while my little sister got rid of it. Not very manly…
Hehe the rant was great today. I cant say I dont enjoy using a butload of chemicals on small insect for no reason, its fun to watch ‘em SQUIRM
Actually, Tsuki, Daddy Long Legs aren’t spiders at all. They lack the combined head and thorax that characterizes arachnids. DLLs, well, they just look like someone got lazy, jammed hairs into a ball of clay, and said, ‘Done.’ Don’t ask me what they ARE, though. I have no freakin’ idea.
And, speaking of allergies, I like spiders because they catch the flying, stinging things I’M allergic to. Not EAT, mind you, just catch. They, like Blargen, apparently, like to watch them squirm.
And, just yesterday, I saw a HUGE freakin’ spider. Must’ve been the size of a dime. And I did what I usually do when confronted with a monstrous arachnid: I prodded it lightly with the mechanical pencil in my pocket to watch it move. It was AWESOME.
…Yeah, I’m a nerd.
I like spiders, I have a tarantula ^^
I have been terified by spiders most of my life, I can thank my mom for that, she told me that some spiders can kill you, and i saw the movie Arachnaphobia, scared the crap out of me.
Yo, marcus dranz, i can top the biggest spider, well were i live almost everybody has a hamok, and one afternoon i was laying on the hamok, and a red-kneed tarantula the size of a poker chip crawled right on my hand, oh, scared the crap out of me!
And thats why i never go in the attic.
once when I was about 16 my little brother accidentally dropped a tennis ball down a storm drain. When we got the manhole off and looked in to find it, the walls looked like they were moving because there were so many spiders down there.
We ended up shooting at them with a bb gun for about half an hour, but ran away screaming when they started pouring out of the manhole to escape.
spiders are icky. i usually runaway from them. a couple weeks ago there was on in my bathroom watching me take a shower from just above the tile on the wall. i kept splashing water in its general direction (I’m a bad shot and was temporarily blind as i don’t wear my glasses in the shower) and telling it to get away. the next day i found it laying dead on the rim of the tub. i turned on the tap and splashed water at it to wash it down the drain.
then earlier this week, my dad came home to find a big black one with thick legs covered in white fur (the worst kind) on the living room floor and squished it with a paper towel. he then brought it upstairs to show me an d my mother. he shoved it in my face while i was trapped in a corner and i said, “getitawaygetitawaygetitawaygetitaway!”
i used to not be as afraid of spiders as i am now. i used to not be afraid of spiders at all, then my parents took us to see arachnophobia. i was only afraid of the ones with the thick, hairy legs for a while after that, but now I’m scared of them all. oddly enough, i had a friend in high school who had a pet black widow which he pulled out of his hat one day and let walk around my basement floor and i wasn’t afraid of it–i wasn’t dumb enough to get anywhere near it, but i wasn’t afraid like i am now. by the way, he breed the widow and then brought the babies to school in a little case–he got suspended for that. black widow babies are light brown in color and if you look closely at them you can see a lighter brown hourglass on their backs.
Marcus — I checked Wikipedia. There’s 3 bugs that are called Daddy Long Legs, and 2 of them are arachnids. Amusingly enough, only one is a spider. The harvestman (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Opiliones) isn’t a spider, but the cellar spider (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Daddy_long-legs_spider) is.
My biology teacher from high school has a black widow in a small cage in his classroom. As well as a tarantula. I prefer to blow on the spider and make them move that way. Just in case it’s gonna bite or something.
one time i was trying to plan my birthday party with my friend gabby, it was a movie party and we wanted to show a scary movie but we couldn’t think of any. I suggested arachnophobia and she said “whats that?” i told her it meant the fear of spiders, I swear she practically jumped onto the ceiling screaming “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I HATE SPIDERS!!!!!!!!” when she came down she said “ya, sounds good” heh, good times, good times =P
A spider bit me under the eye once. My eye was swollen shut. I still have a scar and a knot where she bit me.
I got more laughs out of the stories of people afraid of spiders, then the comic itself……..nuff said.
I once got a catalogue from National Geographic, and it had remote control tarantulas. All seven legs move individually so they look real. I want to get them, but I might give poor Tsuki a heart attack.
Seven?
That can’t be that usefull since spiders can climb walls. D:
About a year or two ago, I was helping my dad move some boxes out of the upstairs bed room. We were almost done when I moved one of the boxes and here on the other side was a big old spider clinging to the box, it had to be at least the size of a silver dollar if not bigger. Anyway, spiders freak me out (I too think I got my fear from watching Arachnophobia when I was a kid) so I jumped back and told my sister there was a huge spider on the other side of the box.
So she walks over not really expecting it to be all that big. Now it was on the back of the box so to see it she had to grab the box and pull it slightly, and just her luck she put her hand about two inches away from where it was sitting. When she finally spotted it and realized her hand was right next to it she freaked and dropped the box slightly causing the spider to quickly climb off and start walking across the floor.
Now we’re both a little freaked, but it’s still cool looking so we watch it as we call our dad and my brother up there as well. So my dad comes up and grabs a bottle of Raid and begins spraying the hell out of it, and all it does is sit there grooming itself. So since the Raid didn’t work, my dad just took his boot and stepped on it. Then my brother spent the next ten minutes grabbing me from behind when I wasn’t expecting it and yelling BRAA to freak me out even more. (we kept the spider after we killed it and later found out it was a baby tarancula of some kind)
So after that I decide I can’t work up stairs anymore thanks to my brother freaking me out even more than I already was. So where does my dad send me? Out to the gerage, aka, spider centeral 0_0. Small spiders don’t usually bother me, but thanks to my brother I was already jumpy enough I could barly grab any of the boxes out there for fear there was another huge spider on the other side.
By the time the day was over I was glad to be back at my apartment. So I open the door, and low and behold, here my cat is chasing a quarter sized spider across the living room floor O_O. I grabbed a cleannex and squished it and flushed it, but I was litterally shaking for the rest of the night and constantly glancing around just waiting for another one to pop out from some where.
if i have a spider in my house, my cat will eat it
I was at a camp a while ago and I saw a spider about the size of a quarter around… not including the legs
I love spiders! There’s a cute little one sitting on my wall right now, crawling around. Actually… It’s not all that little. She’s one of those awesome ones that catches flies and wasps and stuff, so I don’t mind her.
And then Biff falls and his head lands next to the spider. Then he runs to the garage, gets the apache he used to mow his lawn, and hits that spider with a dumb-fire missle.
When I was, oh…about 10 or 12, I had a large quarter sized spider that lived in the window by my bed, and when I was laying down it was almost right over my face. I named it Ron and enjoyed the fact that it ate any other bugs that entered my room. For all I know it crawled in my mouth every night as I slept (thank heaves I was sleeping). I got pretty attatched to it. Then my Dad noticed Ron and sucked it up with a vacuum cleaner… I was a sad panda.
Biff needs a spider-catching attatchment to go with his PowerVac
Eight legs. Sorry. I had a brain fart. XD
I like laughing at people who are scared of spiders. Back at summer camp a couple years ago I was the Official Cabin Exterminator. Nobody else could stand to touch any sort of bug at all. Why they were at camp, I don’t know. But I’d pick up whatever they were pointing and screaming at, then chase them around with it. Until the novelty ran out. Then I came up with creative ways of disposing of said insectoids.
Spiders are cool. I like all spiders except for Daddy Long Legs (if they are spiders, but whatever). Tarantulas are cool.
Oh but I can beat all your ‘really big spider’ stories with ease – I once saw one that would have been literally 10 inches across (counting the legs, that is). It was a Huntsman Spider. My friend saw it too, she’ll back me up. We ran full speed down two flights of stairs to get away from it.
On another note, where can I buy one of those Vacuums for my mum?
A quick spider fact, you’ll eat on average 7 spiders in your sleep.
gee, thanks for sharing.
now where’s my surgical mask?
i hope thats 7 in a lifetime ._.
re: huntsman spider
that’s probably the ickiest spider I’ve ever seen. just the picture of it made me get a mild panic attack (for people with arachnophobia, the mere sight of a spider causes panic attacks) but “Australian Huntsman spiders belong to the Family Sparassidae (formerly Heteropodidae) and are famed as being the hairy so-called ‘tarantulas’ on house walls that terrify people by scuttling out from behind curtains. In fact, they are a diverse and relatively harmless group of spiders, with 13 genera and 94 described species. ” while, as i recall (the first two sites i visited couldn’t back this up and I’m unwilling to subject myself to further panic attacks by studying spiders on websites sporting far too many photos, at least, not right now), the black widow is the third deadliest spider in the world. another spider native to my corner of the world, the brown recluse–which I’ve also been far closer to than i would have liked–is the second. tell me you’ve been within two feet of an Australian wolf spider (number 1 according to my recollection of elementary school teachings)without a glass wall between you and i will be–for lack of a better term–impressed.
for people who would belittle me for admitting to my fear, know that i am a highly intelligent person (i have a genius level I.Q.–note that a genius level I.Q. does not a genius make), i am not afraid of knowledge, and i am willing to study spiders–in small chunks of my time or if there aren’t any pictures. Nor am i ashamed to admit to my fear. logically, i know that most spiders are harmless to humans, but logic cannot overcome emotion and instinct–logic does not apply in the heat of the moment. as i said, i have no better explanation for my fear of spiders other than “they’re icky.” i know they are very useful and important creatures, but that doesn’t matter. arachnophobia is an eerily hominid primal urge to either kill or flee from a potentially dangerous creature. also, stereotypes ate stereotypes because there is a kernel of truth in them. arachnophobia is often associated with female “weakness,” i believe this is because women (in general) are more attuned to nature and therefore instinct (which i consider strength–i know it has been for me).
Mint Sharpie, you’re lucky you didn’t give anyone a heart attack. with my family’s history of heart disease, you probably would have me. panic attacks are nothing to be trifled with and nothing to be controlled. it doesn’t mean that the person having them doesn’t enjoy nature or isn’t capable of taking care of them self, it’s just a hold over from early humans.
those who laugh at other people’s fears, are usually ashamed to admit their own.
relatively harmless group of spiders, with 13 genera and 94 described species. is suposed to be underlined and the site i coppied that from didn’t show up.
http://www.amonline.net.au/factSheets/huntsman_spiders.htm
eerily is suposed to be early
Can’t the spider just climb up the cord, though? Biff needs a wireless vacuum. (Whee! First time posting!)
I disagree, wannabeelf. Spiders are useless…USELESS I SAY. Stupid fumnuddling with their eight legs and their business-headed eight eyes. YEAH 8 eyes! WHO ARE THEY LOOKING AT? Me? Across the room? Looking for something to smush them with? Yes? No? Stupid rizzafrazzle pollymorking hypoemphatic communist arachnadummies! And that will be my nonsensical rant for today. PS. I like the way Lisa said “mum” in her post. British people are cool.
As for Biff, well, while I also have a fear of spiders, its more of a, “I gotta kill you so you don’t get near me ever again” kinda way rather than a running screaming kind. You can’t let your vacuum solve all your problems, my friend. Thats how the Matrix got started.
Oh yeah, and wireless vacuum? Do they have those? Give me a 3D suctioning vacuum instead, it would be way cooler, though it wouldn’t live up to the hype.
Spider bit me when I was little, once. T_T
I dont trust anything with more then 4 legs anymore.
Spiders are cool, and freaky!
Double Bonus!
I have one of those cyclonic vacuums, with the clear case, sometimes I make a full event of sucking up spiders with it and watching them spin in the case. Creepy? Most satisfying thing ever? Mostly both.
lol i hate spiders, >.> but then if you were to wake up with your brothers friends HUGE, i mean freaking fist sized tarantula on your face, when your 5 you would hate them too.
Now i just shoot them with my shotgun, or if its indoors i use a can of hair spray and a lighter to kill them ^^ tis always fun to burn them, they burn almost as well as Texas “horse moths” hehe they done gone and burned really bright and perty (forgive the red neck impression there lol)
Can’t the spider just climb up the cord, though? Biff needs a wireless vacuum. (Whee! First time posting!)
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yeh but then the spider will call his friends and they sit under him until the energy runs out
UNLESS
it’s a nuclear powered vacuum then the’ll climb up the walls and down the vacuum onto biff
UNLESS
its a sucking/propelling vacuum which makes him hover, then they will drop down from there spider ninjaish wires from the ceiling
UNLESS
his vacuum generates a spider repelling force field.
so the moral of this story, biff has again not been thinking before he bargains something >,