#312 - Accident
A few days ago my wife and I was visited a some friends across the street. I was playing with their 2 kids and started drawing pictures on the driveway with sidewalk chalk. First I was just drawing whatever I felt like but soon they were making requests. “Draw a grasshopper next!” So I was leaning over drawing a grasshopper and their little girl was crouched down next to me watching. She was suddenly inspired by my drawing to act like a grasshopper and leaped straight up smashing my glasses into my face. Fortunately the frame missed my eye and only sliced into my eyebrow and the side of my face just to the right of my eye. The lens of the glasses smacked into my eyeball but I seem to have fully recovered a few days later. It was fun when people asked me what happened the next day and I got to say that a 3-year-old girl beat me up. 
August 15th, 2007 at 12:05 am
I’m wondering what the accident involved… but im certain it was something new and inventive
August 15th, 2007 at 12:16 am
*Gasp*
That was both to your story and Biff’s.
August 15th, 2007 at 12:43 am
I don’t know how a macoroni accident could’ve caused this but macoroni is said to be fattening
August 15th, 2007 at 12:46 am
Oh god…
August 15th, 2007 at 12:49 am
You know, this is a clear sign that Marvel comics is running out of new super hero powers to use.
August 15th, 2007 at 1:45 am
I agree with Trueblaze.
August 15th, 2007 at 3:50 am
Glasses and kids don’t mix very well, do they? So with this comic you`re saying glasses are shoved into biff`s eyes?
Sidenote: the ridiculousness is great though, keep up the good work
August 15th, 2007 at 4:28 am
I work as a checkout operator, and wish I had this power. I can’t tell even when they’re in my hand.
Also: Explosm do a good one on the “accident = superpower” idea. He gets bitten by a radioactive spider. His power? He dies.
August 15th, 2007 at 5:40 am
aah, the refreshing randomness of Biff-comics
just what i needed after 2 days of fixing my PC
and yes, grashoppah 3-year-old are dangerous…
like Kamikaze pedestrians XD
August 15th, 2007 at 6:36 am
Wow. Looking at the times ob the earlier post, I am beginning to realize that the comic is probably much funnier at 4 in the morning. That is not to say that I don’t enjoy your comic Chris, but I don’t usually burst out laughing
August 15th, 2007 at 7:50 am
Dude get contact. I have had somany incidents like yours.
The only bad thing contacts have done is stick to my cornea and tear some “skin” off.
I think I relate to Biff and chris to much to be healthy.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:19 am
maybe he was looking through two tellescopes when a rouge car smashed in to his face so now he has tellescope eyes.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:53 am
Yeah, those nectarines can be dangerous when angered. They especially hate it when you call them “baldy” or “peach-wannabes”. I’d give them a wide berth, too.
Rock on, Biff.
I dunno, Chris… If you had contacts the girl could have simply broken your nose instead. Maybe you should look into prescription safety goggles? Glad you’re ok.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:57 am
THAT is an impressive power.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:59 am
Yeah I’ve been unsuccessful in getting contacts for a number of years now. My eyesight is pretty bad. A lot of places make glasses in “about an hour” but that never works for me. When they see my prescription they always say “Oh… well… umm… we have to send away for someone else to make these. We just don’t have the proper materials to do something like this here.” So my glasses always take a week or more to get. But having said that I’m sure there are plenty of people that have it worse off than me.
August 15th, 2007 at 9:04 am
The only difference is that there is fuzz on a peach and none on a nectarine.. but that would be some seriously frightening vision
August 15th, 2007 at 10:30 am
I thought a Nectarine was a kind of orange o.o;
August 15th, 2007 at 1:43 pm
Only from far away?
August 15th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
far, far away.
August 15th, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Chris got beat-up by a three-year-old, Chris got beat-up by a three-year-old!!!
Be glad you weren’t blinded, then you couldn’t draw and I’d have no reason to spare your life!
August 15th, 2007 at 2:48 pm
For the longest time I couldn’t tell peaches and nectarines apart. Biff has a great power but I don’t know how it would come in handy unless you were in a grove of both plants.
Also, you have to be careful of those little girls. I always make sure to stand at least 3 feet away, just to be safe.
August 15th, 2007 at 2:58 pm
I smell spotaneous theme of the week.
August 15th, 2007 at 3:07 pm
I think this is one of the funniest ones I’ve seen in a while. Just great.
August 15th, 2007 at 8:24 pm
I like these sorts of Biff comics. They make me think.
Specifically, they make me think, “What the Hell kind of accident would give you this sort of insight and power after surviving it?”
The mind wanders…then promptly boggles.
Also, it sucks nearly being blinded. Had a close call with a dog when I was a child. Mind you, they’re not the same thing, but at that young age, they ARE quite similar.
August 15th, 2007 at 9:08 pm
LMAO!!! I looove Biff.
August 15th, 2007 at 9:49 pm
If you have really bad eyesight like I do and need specialised glasses (high index??) then you should see a specialist. Since i got lenses, the degenerative eye disease I have has stopped getting worse and I can actually see really well, plus I don’t get my glasses smashed across my face any more (well still get sunnies broken, but meh).
A specialist may also have much better advice than a runof the mill mall setup optom dude.
Just IMHO tho.
Also, with contacts, your periphial (sic) will be improved and your powers to avoid little girls will be greatly inhanced.
August 15th, 2007 at 10:26 pm
Like Chris, I too was a victim of a jumping head-butt from a 3-year-old. But I don’t wear glasses so she just decimated my nose. Yeah I’m over-exaggerating about the ‘decimation’ but still, it hurt ALOT.
August 15th, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Maybe the coffee finally fixed his near-sided vision, but now he might have some problems reading the new paper close to his face.
August 15th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
I never had that problem, but without my glass I’m unsure if i did or not…
August 19th, 2007 at 2:41 am
Finally! A “non-realized” Biff comic!
August 19th, 2007 at 6:06 am
i can tell the difference from a peach from far far away, i just have to go visit shrek…:)
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:38 pm
He has FUZZOVISION!!!!!
June 19th, 2008 at 1:25 am
Little girls are FREAKY! *shudders* Yes, I know I was once one, but they still scare the heck out of me. And that’s BEFORE adding horror templates….