September 20th, 2007
#338 - Drawer
I’m picky about the flatware I use. I tend to favor shorter utensils with rounded edges. I can’t stand sets that have a thin handle with hard edges. They cut into my fingers and get in the way of me enjoying my meal. Because of this we spent a long time picking out the set to put on our wedding registry. As the wedding grew near we were informed that our choice had been discontinued so we had to go through the whole process again. After doing all of that it turned out that this was the only major thing that we didn’t get off of our registry. We’re still using the hand me down utensils that are from my house when I was a kid.
September 20th, 2007 at 12:02 am
I hope he washes them really well before sticking them in his mouth.
September 20th, 2007 at 12:14 am
But what about the dish?
September 20th, 2007 at 12:18 am
The spoon cheated on it. And after running away together. *shakes head*
September 20th, 2007 at 12:21 am
I swear I came across what looked like a cross between a spatula and a pastry cutter, but I could never explain it… until now! Wonder why I didn’t assume this from the beginning.
@MoosePhysh: that took me an extra second
September 20th, 2007 at 12:46 am
Now we just need to introduce a knife into the breeding process… I’m so tired of using both hands while eating
September 20th, 2007 at 1:40 am
Classic. XD
September 20th, 2007 at 1:53 am
They hand out sporks at my local KFC with the baked beans/colesaw/etc… I find them one hilarious abuse of cutlery.
September 20th, 2007 at 2:04 am
its not as bad as knorks. knives and forks? what isthe point? howcan you hold something in place and cut it, with the same utensil?! its just not possible!
September 20th, 2007 at 3:02 am
MOD: Not necessarily impossible, if you utilized some sort of pivot. It could be a cross between scissors and a rotary cutter: you’d stab your food with the fork part and rotate the attached-but-separate knife-type-utensil. You’d get a nice, straight cut every time!
But, who ever heard of a knork anyways?
September 20th, 2007 at 4:49 am
I hate sporks, but
I like the word spork
almost as much as I like smock
and ameretto. I keep
ameretto in my drawers
next to the screws.
September 20th, 2007 at 5:24 am
This is the third time ive thought of this idea, would taking a normal fork, pounding one of the pins on the edge so its like a triangle shape, and then serating it like a steak knife, and doing the other side smoth? like a sharp butter knife? would anyone buy such an invention? you could use the serated side to cut steak, and the flat edge to open the potato, and cut those carrots in your meal? the serated idea is probobly a bad one, as someone can cut their mouth, but the smoth edge doesnt have to be razor sharp, just slightly dull
September 20th, 2007 at 5:50 am
Atleast he didn’t get FREDs.
They are what they army supply as an eating and can opening utensil.
I won’t explain what they look like, you won’t understand how stupid they are, go down to your disposals store and have a look for them.
FRED stands for F*cking Ridiculous Eating Device, and that is what it is.
September 20th, 2007 at 6:11 am
FREDs do look pretty ridiculous. Similar to the P-38; pictures can be found hre for the curious (like me): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P-38_can_opener
September 20th, 2007 at 7:21 am
Spooning leads to forking…
Well, Biff learned that the hard way.
As for me, I still remember a scene from that show Andy Richter did. The employees complain about the utensils being in ridiculous combinations.
September 20th, 2007 at 8:49 am
I have a spork hanging in every vehicle I drive. It’s ma lucky charm, and a lifesaver if I visit places that forget to give me one
September 20th, 2007 at 8:50 am
you know what this reminds me of? that old ctrl-alt-del strip where Chef Brian has a thought of a spoon being ‘forked’.
September 20th, 2007 at 9:02 am
ha-HA! classic
September 20th, 2007 at 9:06 am
Thanks Noble, I was curious.
Those things are breeding like rats… at least Biff gets some free cutlery out of it.
If the knives got together with the spoons, would you have knoons or spives?
September 20th, 2007 at 10:34 am
i love this one, they are breeding….very funny
September 20th, 2007 at 1:33 pm
This is just… cute.
September 20th, 2007 at 5:13 pm
well…..
I found this site through the bladesmith’s forum (forums.dfoggknives.com) i’m fairly sure that more people than myself are regular readers now, too
aaanyway, there’s 2000 people there who can make you custom cutlery, or, if you visit the forums, you could pick up enough info about the methods used to make cutlery to make your own set.
i know this post’s peanut-ish, so ignore me if i’m disturbing anyone.
September 20th, 2007 at 7:40 pm
He seems more curious than pissed.
September 20th, 2007 at 10:20 pm
I own a metal spork that I use every day. I have to hide it from my friends when they come over.
September 24th, 2007 at 7:46 am
Deep in a draw lined with cork
There were some spoons and some forks
That bunch of flatware
Caused such a clatter
Now I have nothing but sporks
September 25th, 2007 at 10:27 pm
I’m exactly the same way when it comes to my silverware. In my home, we have two sets of silverware. One is heavier and rounded and the other is more flat. I feel like I can bend and break the second set. Therefore, I always use the more rounded set.
December 30th, 2007 at 7:57 pm
It’s late, but I just found this and thought it suitable.
http://bentobjects.blogspot.com/2007/04/on-run-from-mack-knife.html
January 3rd, 2008 at 6:53 pm
EW.
January 26th, 2008 at 12:42 pm
genius! homemade sporks! the ultimate eating utensil! thank you biff!
June 19th, 2008 at 11:00 pm
Wow, late comment, but I just found the site today. We went through a bunch of flatware sets before our wedding, and finally picked one we really liked. Bridal shower comes around and the ladies from my (now) wifes church present her with a flatware set…that wasn’t the one we picked out, and was actually one that we had both agreed we disliked intensely. Lady presenting it to her says, and I quote “Oh, we saw the one you picked out, but we didn’t like it, so we got this one instead” We were just happy it was the same price as ours and the store let us exchange them.
July 8th, 2008 at 4:39 pm
Those naughty, naughty utensils