I think all of my personal yawning incidents involve bugs or large chunks of dust. It’s always been something flying or floating, never a creepy crawly. I’m sure there are plenty of bugs and stuff that I eat all the time without knowing it. But it’s the ones that I’m aware of that freak me out. What’s the most horrible thing you have accidentally eaten?
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That’s why I don’t eat bagged snacks when I walk near the construction site.
I ate a ladybug once
Ben: PMSL!! of all of these yours has made me laugh.
I once made a Pot Noodle in the dark. I was sat quite happily eating away when something fiborous lodged in my teeth. I spat it out and thought nothing of it, until someone caught my Pot Noodle in a torch (flashlight) It was a crane fly. I threw up a lot and I now won’t eat without a light on.
I’ve eaten some weird stuff in my time: ball bearings, glue, spiders, mud, and a worm that a friend told me was made of jelly, (Lying ****tard!!!). Still keep up the god work in proving that this kind of thing won’t kill you.
And Smile, remebering that one day your enemies will be coated in bird ‘dooky’.
I haven’t eaten anything especially interesting by accident, but I have a friend who have.
He’s living with his wealthy, car factory working parents, right. So when he takes a container of orange juice out of the fridge and takes a big gulp he doesn’t have any reason to expect anything other than orange juice being in it. Of course it wasn’t, but you can never guess what it was:
Raw pig’s blood! Ta-dah.
Like Cronyne, I also have swallowed a few marbles…and I also think they’re still in my body somewhere… Accidentally, by the way– the ingestion was not intentional.
By the way, Jenny- that’s disgusting…. Some of these things people are saying are utterly disturbing!
-Sh!nes
My mom once told one of my boyfriends that I’d licked an ashtray when I was about 4, but I don’t remember it. I’ve snorted a few gnats during the fall when they make those big clouds, and I’ve guzzled a couple of ants in picnic sodas, but that’s about it.
On a related note, my stepdad was once eating vanilla ice cream straight out of the box and scooped out a spoonful with a (thankfully intact) frozen mosquito in the middle of it. He noticed it way before he ate it, and we all had a look to make sure we’d heard him right.
I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything particularily gross. I’m emetophobic (look it up if you don’t know what it is), so needless to say I’m afraid of going too close to foods of that sort and I make it my utmost priority to avoid accidentally ingesting something odd.
People keep saying that you swallow 8, 9, or 10 or so spiders in your life. This is simply not true. Urban legend. Myth. I also hate the imfamos “daddy longlegs are the most ‘poisonous’ (its VENEMOUS) spider in the world but their mouths aren’t big enough to bite” myth.
Well, though I’m having fun trying to free up the world from the trap of urban legends, I can say one thing that I’ve accidentally done- this was probably the stupidest thing i’ve done as well. I picked a plum off the ground that had fallen from the plum tree and randomly took a bite out of it. And I KNEW that I would find a worm in it, so why did I do it being emetophobic and all!? I guess I was in a crazy mood that day. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a plum fly until that day. Weird thing is, it didn’t make me sick at all (again, I blame the phobia), I just got really afraid and ran as far away from the plum tree as possible. I still cut my plums beforehand to this day. (And every other thing…)
(That, I forgot to mention, is the only gross thing I’ve eaten… should’ve edited the paragraph beforehand- just remembered about it halfway through that thesis of a post! :X
By the way, new time poster here. Excellent Biff comics! I’ve always loved bald, clueless characters.)
“Screaming is bad…..you have to open your mouth to scream….” NOT MINE.
Kim you’re wrong, most spiders avoid dank dark places like a human mouth, ever seen a spider in a bathtub? The same would happen in your saliva, spiders are aware of this.
Also, worst thing I’ve accidently eaten was two quaters. Yes two. when I wa slittle I wa sbet that I couldn’t swallow and then regurtitate a quater, well I tried, but it just sank to my stomache, othe rkids sai di tmight of gotten stuck, so I should drop another quater in to knock it loose.
Damn you childhood… damn you!
I was out for a run durring cross country season. There was a girl coming my way who was fixing her pony tail and her hair tie snaped and shot into my mouth while I was yawning. It was rather unpleasant, someone’s sweat in your mouth…
I had a bread roll once that broke one of my baby teeth.
I guess that’s sort of horrible.
I can’t remember how old I was, but in the 6-8 range I swallowed a penny during my nap. No, it didn’t crawl in, I was sort of juggling a few coins, decided to balance one on my tongue, tongue snaps back…And it got stuck mid-way, horizontally.
After I convinced my dad I wasn’t kidding, I went to the hospital and discovered that yes, it was indeed stuck and scarring my esophagus. I suppose it eventually came out, though despite rigorous observation on the parts of my parents there has never been evidence. Probably the grossest part of this story…
Alright, want gross? You really want full frontal vomitrocious anecdote? WARNING proceed at your keyboard’s risk! …At an even younger age, I ate a giant turd. Stuck in my teeth and everything. Worst part is, I don’t know if it was mine or my brother’s.
Army ration freeze dried Citrus Chicken. It might not sound that bad, but let me explain: we had it in the wilds of Virginia, and it was so bad that the raccoons refused to touch it and it killed a crayfish while the dishes were being rinsed in the stream
My brother once swallowed his tooth when it fell out as he was sleeping. And my best friend once swallowed his pet snail. Yeah.
He was about 5 and had his pet snail on the table next to him while he was eating his cereal for breakfast. He would eat cereal like this
Step one. make spoon vertical and at eyelevel
2. lower spoon into cereal
3.make spoon horizontal
4.lift up spoon
5. bring spoon to mouth and eat cereal in spoon.
So he was watching his mom and eating his cereal at the same time.
His spoon , instead of going into the cereal, picked up his snail and he still did not notice. Only until he couldn’t find his snail that he realized he ate it.
I went to a party at a professor’s house. In the dining room there was a footed glass bowl, full of white ovoids, on a sideboard. They looked like the candy-coated Jordan almonds. I popped a couple into my mouth, and ran to the bathroom to spit out some black gunk. The white ovoids were infertile eggs laid by the homeowners’ pet birds!
I can’t quite remember the most disgusting thing I’ve ever unconsciously eaten, but I think it was either bird feces, or grease (the kind you use in cars)
I do know, however, that I swim in my High School’s swim team, and more than a couple of the swimmers have a dirty habit of using the pool as a urinal.
And no matter how hard anyone tries, you will always swallow at least a little bit of water while swimming.
Eeew.
thinking back about 15 or 20 minutes ago about my previous comment (airsoft gun in shoe) i realize now that i have been shot in(side) my mouth with an airsoft gun (this time from a rather long range, so it was more startling than painful). i don’t remember if i swallowed the bb though…
A few years ago I was sleeping over at a friends house after a lan party and I woke up with a rahter bitter and spicy taste in my mouth. I got up, walked to the door, and spit whatever was in my mouth outside. At first I thought that it was some kind of bug that had crawled in my mouth…but I soon learned that one of my buddies had put a spoonfull of tabasco sauce in my mouth to wake me up…aren’t friends great? Not exactly an accident..but it certainly wasn’t my doing!
I sometimes get cramps when yawning. Quite annoying and hurtful, and I don’t need any animals or “friends” to do it…
Ever eaten nasturtiums? We’ve some in our front garden. The leaves are okay — kind of peppery — but I really like the flowers. You know how the flowers have this thing dipping down on the bottom of them? That’s my favourite part of the flower, as it has the nectar in it and it’s rather sweet.
That was NOT the gross stuff. What’s gross is that one time, at around the end of the nasturtium season, I bit into that part and tasted a slug. GROSS.
Accurate little devils…
Two months ago, me and a couple of mates were havin’ a few cold ones, and one of ‘em suggest, in our hazy situation, that we should all swallow a 50øre (It’s a danish coin, about 1.5 times bigger than a penny).. So we did; now recently we’ve all have had x-rays taken, and would you believe it, NONE of us have past the damn coins..
Morale: It’s not just kids that swallow things for fun – adults are just as “stupid” when it comes down to it.
Cheers!
BTW: First time poster, LONG time reader. (Felt obligated, since so many others have stated it) – awesome one panel comic!
goldenthread. it is a small woodland plant that has a natural (but small) amount of asprin in it. You wont find any in a city, so you guys are lucky. i almost threw up it was so bad.
Luckily, some wood sorrell was nearby, and i had that to get the taste out of my mouth. you can find this one in your backyard, and it looks very similar to “clover”. tastes just like green apple, but only chew the stems.
There’s a short clip over on failblog of this VERY thing happening to a reporter. The reporter should have known better than to stand under a tree full of incontinent birds with his mouth open. He’d even already gotten a ‘warning shot’ on the shoulder…
Riding in a convertible, talking to mah peeps……. Turns out, mosquitoes like to hang out on I-95.
Two grasshoppers, they weren’t that bad, actually. Probably could have used some salt, though. This was in my high school sophomore year, in biology. A year ago. Deliberately ate them. Whose bright idea was it to put biology right before lunch, anyway?
Two day reader, first time poster. I read fast.
Last halloween I almost tricked my friend into drinking a coke bottle of fake blood – luckily for her I took pity and told her right as she was about to take a sip.
I ate a cricket once. But that was intentional for part of a competition at my college. And it had been cooked first, tasted like a pistachio.
A bird did that to my cousin on her wedding day.
‘Ooh, there’s some juice left in the carton.’ Suck on the straw. ‘Hmm, there’s some juice and ANTS left in the carton…’ As someone mentioned, Ants are bitter. Bitter and twisted.
My favorite so far!!!
i slept over to my friends house once and he never has anything good to drink. so when i found a plastic bottle of my favorits juice in his fridge, naturally w asked for a sip. “sure” he replied. there were no clean glasses left so i decided to take a (rather large) swig directly from the bottle.
spoiled milk.
lovely ><
It was unlucky not his favorite juice
(Slingshot + half-cooked sausage) + (Brother + Blindness) + my idiocy = food poisoning + ewww.
At work we have this stuff, Spill-X which is a flaky substance used to absorb liquid spills. I had a hard time opening it and had the genius idea to use my teeth. It took me ten minutes of swish-spit-swishing to get the taste out of my mouth.
Addendum: I also speedwalked to the restroom with my teeth bared like a rabid dog so as to not swallow it. Trying to explain myself without moving my lips proves I need to work on my ventriloquism.
Live minnows, only it was kinda on purpose… yeah, actually, the slimy part of the fish doesn’t really have much of a flavor and thus, the whole fish doesn’t taste. Gets good reactions from people, though.
You probably won’t understand how this was accidental, but white erasers. On multiple occasions. Just saying this has gotten that taste back in my mouth. Need something to wash it out pronto.
I had a fruit drink that I kept in my room in a huge bottle, I sat down one day at my computer and took a sip, then realized there was mold floating on top of it.
…sad to say, i got pooped on by migrating ducks when I was a kid…even worse, it was the same day my aunt “accidentally” burned me with a cigarette…
@Zaisan I feel your pain…except as a kid i was known as “Frog”. The reason for this was because i could catch a fly in mid-flight. I was dared to eat one once…hence, the nickname “Frog”. (i ate it for twenty bucks. when i was a kid, that was the most money i’d EVER had.)
Well I’m afraid my only bug related incident was knocking a wheel off of my car.
Of course there was that one camp-out where that one kid got stung by a flaming bee. That poor kid was just a bad luck magnet.