October 16th, 2007
#356 - Swing
When I first learned to play baseball it was with a plastic bat and ball. One year some of the older kids in the neighborhood moved up to a real baseball and a real wooden bat. The bat was way too heavy for me. I could barely swing it, let alone fast enough to actually hit the ball. I then found a half-size wooden bat in a closet. It must have been my older brother’s. I was much better with that one and it let me play with the big kids again.
October 16th, 2007 at 12:04 am
Y’know, I actually tried that when I was little. I had never liked Red Delicious apples, but I loved applesauce, and I had apples and a bat, so…
October 16th, 2007 at 12:20 am
I always thought the idea of smashing peanuts with a hammer would’ve been funner, but I’m more concerned about how many home-runs Biff’s hit using this method of A-sauceball
October 16th, 2007 at 2:19 am
This just made me laugh out loud. I want to say something though, a thank you. I haven’t been reading The Book of Biff for nearly as long as other people here, so I can’t say I’m a faithful reader yet, but I’ve never missed an update since I’ve started reading this comic, and for good reason, because this is a wonderful, lighthearted, funny comic. You have made me laugh when everyone else has failed to cheer me up when I’m sad just by drawing and your ridiculous sense of humor. And I would like to say again, thank you so much for The Book of Biff.
October 16th, 2007 at 2:22 am
We did this with oranges once, at a friend’s house where there was a bunch of bad oranges on the ground. It was very silly and much fun.
October 16th, 2007 at 3:14 am
I always used to take apples and hit them with baseball bats when I was younger. I love the splater it made.
October 16th, 2007 at 3:59 am
I don’t have good hand-eye coordination. I usually stamp on ‘em with my heel, makes them splatter just as well. I love my feet, they’re so awesome. kicking things and jumping over others is the only good thing I can do.
October 16th, 2007 at 6:35 am
that doen’t work actually, tryed, failed, and ended up with a brused apple
October 16th, 2007 at 6:36 am
oranges work, you make marmalade
October 16th, 2007 at 7:01 am
I actually tried the peanuts/hammer thing once. i stuck a bunch of peanuts in a plastic baggie and smashed them till I had a big flat peanut…cake thing. Either way, it actually made for a passable crunchy peanut butter.
October 16th, 2007 at 7:03 am
hehehe
If you feel like a little wanton destruction and don’t mind the mess, eggs are a lot of fun to play baseball with as well.
Very therapeutic, actually…
October 16th, 2007 at 7:28 am
My Dad and I walked down a country road near where we lived. The road was next to some apple orchards, so we would find the apples that had rolled down next to the road and roll them to see how far they would go. As the apple rolls across the pavement, little bits of it fly off and slowly the apple becomes smaller and smaller.
October 16th, 2007 at 8:24 am
A nice crisp swing, a nice crisp bat, a nice crisp apple- put them all together and what do you get? Aggessive bees. Run Biff Run!
October 16th, 2007 at 8:45 am
Apples, pears, peaches… Sometimes bunches of grapes, too. Why yes, we did have a lot of fruit trees on one of the properties, growing up. Why do you ask..? ^_^
Well, OK, the grapes came from vines, if you want to be pendantic about it. :-p We also whacked the occasional over-ripe orange or grapefruit, when we could get them.
Bees, yellow jackets, and the like just *loved* us! They’d pick over the debris, in mass numbers, quite happily. Never tried an egg, though. For some reason, that never occured to us.
October 16th, 2007 at 9:09 am
My brother did this. With quinces and a plank.
October 16th, 2007 at 9:11 am
Sorry, correction. My brother says it was a snow shovel he did it with.
October 16th, 2007 at 9:21 am
Love applesauce, hate baseball (second most boring game to watch).
Where do you live, Chris? Somewhere where it’s always warm? I’ve noticed Biff never seems to participate in winter sports. Think of the damage he could do to himself with a pair of ice skates or a luge!
October 16th, 2007 at 9:25 am
Ooo! Peaches!
Never thought of that, but that would have been great: All the splatter and you can still get some distance. Even better if you didn’t tell the outfielder you were doing it.
October 16th, 2007 at 9:26 am
@AwesomeAud - http://www.thebookofbiff.com/2006/12/27/156-sledding/
October 16th, 2007 at 10:28 am
if i could i’d probably try but with potatos instead
hum…mashed potatos
October 16th, 2007 at 10:38 am
Never had the chance to try Appleball, but we did have to stomp on said apples if we wanted to feed the horses some neighbors down the street kept. Soon enough the horses would always come up to us expecting an apple. Hilarious whenever they realized that my Dad forgot to bring an apple on some of our walks.
October 16th, 2007 at 11:05 am
Ingeneous!
October 16th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
I was visiting relatives once and we went to one of those tacky, yuppie “pretend to lead a pleasant pastoral life: pick your own fruitz!!!” places. My cousins and I were bored out of our minds, so we lined up a bunch of fallen fruit on the road for cars to run over. It was fun until the dude working there yelled at us. Apparently they sell those apples, too! To, like, horses and stuff?
October 16th, 2007 at 12:24 pm
Hey, I just read MaskedMan’s comment about grapes, and it reminded me of more fruit-related shenanigans.
At work we would go for break by a busy road with a bunch of grapes at hand. We’d toss ‘em on to the road and watch ‘em splat. Hitting things with other things is fun and all, but it’s a very active sport. Watching things run over other things is more of a spectator sport. Very relaxing. I’m surprised I’m not a fan of monster truck rallies, now that I think about it.
October 16th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Coincedince, last saturday me and my freinds were helping with the apple day that scouts have every year, there were so many apples left over so they started playing lacrosse with the apples, they still got pretty messed up though. then they were going to hit it with a baseball bat but the leaders didnt let us.
October 16th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
Biff has a lot of stupid ideas, but this is genius. I wonder if Biff likes Gallagher.
October 16th, 2007 at 7:28 pm
No joke, this was my favorite Saturday activity. Thanks for the memories! =D
October 17th, 2007 at 10:50 am
Chris, my bad!
But seriously! think of Biff in a pair of green hockey skates!
October 17th, 2007 at 1:14 pm
y know, that may have had a stronger impact without the text.
October 19th, 2007 at 1:25 am
hmm. persimmons, apples, pears and anything that is more crunchy than juicy… add them with a maniacal hammer user and you have a smoothie without the use of a blender.
ahem. i did try baseball with oranges. those suckers fly far.
October 31st, 2007 at 6:24 am
I hate applesauce. It looks weird.
Again, I’M NOT CLEANING THAT MESS UP! The last time Biff did something like this, it was carbonated ketchup.
I find it a sin to waste food. Legend goes that the Gods of Thunder and Lightning will strike you down and turn you into a little black smear mark on the floor. At least, that’s what my grandmother told me.
November 13th, 2007 at 9:35 am
last year, my room mate, some of her friends and i took a huge bag of apples and hit them into the woods near her house….omg it was soo much fun. i wouldn’t want to make that into applesauce though….
November 17th, 2007 at 9:35 pm
Heh eh eh. My friend and I still do this, only substitute ‘apple’ with ’soda can filled with water.’ We recently upgraded to gardening implements. Very amusing, very satisfying.
April 6th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
YAY! Smash stuff! Classic Biff feeling in this comic, again.
July 18th, 2008 at 5:06 pm
Tis called aplshmeer.
July 24th, 2008 at 11:28 am
This is my birthday tradition! And it will be happening again tomorrow. Nice.