#361 - Scorch
One of the first cars that we had with the remote unlock feature had a few extra buttons on the keychain. The one that I hated the most was a button marked “panic.” It was aptly named. I would be exiting the car and stepping into a crowded parking lot and accidentally hit “panic” instead of “lock.” I would immediately panic, looking for the car that was honking at me because their breaks were out and they were about to crash into me.
Book news! The printing is scheduled to be complete by the 31st then it should take 5-8 days to pack them up and truck them to my door. So they should be in my hands in about 2 weeks!
Shirts! I’m happy to announce the first Biff shirt! For the next 2 weeks I’ll be taking orders for the Biff smiley shirt, then the order will be placed and the shirts produced. As a special thank you to everyone that has supported the book project if you order a shirt before November 4th I’ll add the shirt to your book order and you won’t have to pay any additional shipping charges.
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:11 am
Was that his invisible car?
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:16 am
What kind of car splatters purple? I want one!!!!
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:40 am
At least he kept his eyebrows this time.
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:45 am
@ KayRis:
None. It was a giant grape with a steering wheel and leather interior.
The Duck Has Spoken.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:19 am
dude… if there’s a grape that big with a self destruct button and a volume control, i want one.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:51 am
Biff has far too many strange gadgets. Was he a spy at one point?
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:13 am
lol famus last words: “Oh come on, do you really think they’d put the self destruct button out in the open where anyone could press it?”
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:41 am
why even have a self destruct, right
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:56 am
BIFF SHIRTS!!!! WOOHOO!!!!
sorry, I’m really excited.
*switching to decaf*
Biff’s car is still better than my brother’s. He has a “crash” feature somehow cunningly built into the volume control. Now his wife won’t let him drive with the radio on.
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:51 am
Evil Overlord Rule #9:
“I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled “Danger: Do Not Push.”"*
Biff is obviously not an Evil Overlord - Minon, at best.
*http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:53 am
I was hoping Biff would have learned
from the Eject button fiasco that he
needed to color code his selections.
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:04 am
What’s purple and goes “slam slam slam slam vroom SPLAP!” ?
A four-door sports grape with a self-destruct button too close to the radio volume control!
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:39 am
Happens to me all the time.
Damn selfdestruct button!
October 23rd, 2007 at 9:48 am
Now now, Mask. We don’t know what the self-destruct button looked like. It might have been labeled “defrost”, after all.
but dude, I want a car that splatters purple too!
October 23rd, 2007 at 10:00 am
Well at least it wasn’t his stain glass car…actully, more harm to others rather than him, he would just be surrounded by pretty colored glass
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:20 am
“Blaze,” “Scorch”…do you happen to live in Southern California? Because that pretty much sums up where I live at the moment.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:32 am
Indeed. The next comic should be entitled “Black Lung” or some such.
October 23rd, 2007 at 11:46 am
I wonder if he had insurance? That would be one heck of a premium!
October 23rd, 2007 at 12:34 pm
Do they sell giant drivable grape insurance? I better call my insurance broker…
The Duck Has Spoken.
October 23rd, 2007 at 1:04 pm
The problem with owning a “giant grape with a steering wheel and leather interior” is that it tends to whine.
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:01 pm
buzzardo, that was painful….
=D
October 23rd, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Ow, Buzzardo. Just… Ow.
The Duck Has Spoken.
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:18 pm
yo he PLACED the buttons?
so he must have made his own giant grape and put in the leather interior himself
October 23rd, 2007 at 3:57 pm
WOW.
…Reminds me of my dad. The volume in his new car is in the place where the gas was on his old car so we’ll be driving down the road and he’ll try to work the gas and all of a sudden my ears will start to bleed from Jack Johnson on at full blast.
October 23rd, 2007 at 6:06 pm
is it me, or has nobody posted about his eyebrows? i thought they got burned off from that coffee
October 23rd, 2007 at 7:33 pm
I wouldn’t worry about Biff. That clearly wasn’t his green invisible car (#44), it has his purple invisible car. I wonder how many invisible card Biff has?
Fan request - In the next one, can you show all of Biff’s remaining invisible car collection? That would be so cool.
October 23rd, 2007 at 8:08 pm
His invisible car collection is in all of the comics, duh!
October 24th, 2007 at 2:02 am
Wow. That is the hardest I’ve laughed at Biff in the longest. Good stuff.
October 24th, 2007 at 4:40 am
I guess this is another thing to avoid when modding cars.
October 24th, 2007 at 6:37 am
hahahahahahaha xD
October 24th, 2007 at 9:09 am
Lol. The only way this would be funnier is if the airbag suddenly popped out on him after the car exploded.
October 24th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
This was especially funny, since on Monday a co-worker was coming back from lunch and their engine burst into flames. The car was already dying a slow death, so this was just it’s way of going out in a blaze of oily fire. So we both had a good laugh when I gave him this comic and asked him if that’s how his car really died.
Funny, isn’t it, when art imitates real life?! Especially art as far-out as the Book of Biff!
October 24th, 2007 at 4:58 pm
Everybody wants a car that splatters purple; are we going to have reckless drivers on the road slamming into eachother and their cars exploding in red, blues, and greens?!
And maybe the car’s a prune, not a grape.
October 25th, 2007 at 5:42 pm
I wonder what kind of music he listens to..
October 30th, 2007 at 8:49 pm
Prefect…I’ll (hopefully) be driving soon…Now I’m scared to touch anything…
March 21st, 2008 at 1:12 am
@MaskedMan: The big red button labeled “Do Not Push” will instead release a hail of bullets upon anyone foolish enough to disregard it.
Silly Biff, the self-destruct goes on a separate remote, on an inset button to prevent accidentally engaging the self-destruct. That way you can inconvenience would-be carjackers. :smug: