November 16th, 2007
#379 - Swipe
I was really excited when I got my first brand new bicycle. All of my previous bikes were pieced together from hand my downs from my older brother. We didn’t have a shed or anything like that to put them in so we always just parked them up against the back of the house. One day I went around back to get it and it was missing. First I thought I must have left it in the front yard. Nope, not there either. I was pretty upset about it and so my parents bought me another one. I picked out a completely different model this time. For some reason we thought the bicycle thief must have had his fill because we didn’t upgrade out security measures. By the end of summer that bike had been stolen as well.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:33 am
Man, I hate when people drive my house away. They left the roof sitting on cinder blocks when I found it.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:34 am
Ouch, that really sucks about your bike.
Also, it would look really weird if someone stole my house.
It’s an apartment
The Duck Has Spoken.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:42 am
Frankly, I feel sorry for who-ever stole it; they’re in for some unpleasant surprises.
When I was… eight? Eight maybe… Any-way, when I was then, my brother and I had this little town-ified go-kart. It was the coolest thing ever, and one day this big 12-year-old went and took it from us. It was not cool.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:58 am
Th eonly bike I ever owned got stolen. I saw someone riding it one day.
November 16th, 2007 at 1:36 am
Now THAT is a mobile home!
Watch out for the stairs, housing joy-riders! That first step is a doozy!
November 16th, 2007 at 1:52 am
Biff takes everything in stride, including having his house jacked, apparently. What a guy. We can all learn from his example.
I’ve had three expensive mountain bikes stolen in my lifetime, and I came up with a foolproof plan: not have enough money to replace the third one and get a free bike which just happens to be a hunk of junk but no worries because the wheels still roll and you can brake kind of and no one will ever steal it because they will be afraid of it blowing up only it won’t blow up!!!!
Prob… probably?
November 16th, 2007 at 1:52 am
hehe, Chris was a spoiled little punk.
I remember one day after a storm, our tree was gone. a big ugly tree that everyone hated but was never bothered to chop it down. the tree never turned up, and luckily it hadn’t embedded itself in another house. I think I walk past it every day, but never recognize it.
November 16th, 2007 at 2:43 am
Once back at one of our old houses, we left some apple juice jars outside near a tree, they sat out there for nearly two years before our dog barking alerted us that someone was stealing it… I think if they actually drank what was in those jars after sitting through southern summer twice got plenty of punishment.
November 16th, 2007 at 2:48 am
On the subject of leaving the keys in your car, my dad tells this story of when he had his radio stolen. The thief ejected the CD and left it on the seat. How bad does your taste in music have to suck that somebody stealing your CD player won’t take it?
November 16th, 2007 at 7:04 am
When I first moved into an apartment with my now-wife, the first weekend there her brand new car was stolen from the parking lot right below our window. The week after that, the thieves came back and stole my $800 car radio. We were both pretty angry at management for the lax security… the night gate guard got fired and investigated by the police for it, but they never caught the criminals.
That’s when I decided to become Batman.
November 16th, 2007 at 10:10 am
lol PsychoDuck!
i got my first brand new bike earlier this year. all i had before was my brothers.
November 16th, 2007 at 10:25 am
interesting….before I read the caption, I thought it had something to do with Biff and a dried up pool.
November 16th, 2007 at 10:42 am
heh. i bought a bike a while ago and my dad insisted that i get a lock for it so the neighborhood hooligans wouldn’t steal it. so i got a lock for it and lost the combination. after about a year of it being locked to my house, we finally got a pair of those gigantic lock cutters and got it to unlock. that day, after only a few hours of it being free, someone stole it.
November 16th, 2007 at 10:51 am
I figure when somebody steals,
they must have needed it more
than I. That doesn’t make it right,
nor does it make me feel better.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:57 pm
The only thing I’ve had stolen from me, fully knowing that it was stolen, was this super nintendo game. I can’t remember what it was called, but it was a racing game and it was really, really fun. Anyways, my “friend” asked me if he could borrow it because he had thought it was just as much fun as I did. I let him borrow it for about a month and then the day he said he was going to give it back, he actually moved. I got the game for my birthday and it was my first video-game ever. After that, if I ever let someone borrow something, I always get collateral. Lesson? Never trust a kid named Joey, who has a mushroom cut. Lesson Learned.
And the worst part is, other people that I went to high school with (I was in grade 2 or 3 when it was stolen) had had the same thing happen to them by THE SAME GUY. Some people have no souls…
November 16th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I drove my house onto the highway and told everyone there to get out of my driveway
November 16th, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Love this one!
@ Steam Punk - Joey and his kind must die!
November 16th, 2007 at 3:06 pm
i guess that could happen if you build your house on the side of a hill.
November 16th, 2007 at 3:27 pm
You mean they didn’t steal his grass?
Seriously, I want to shouldur drop thieves onto acid covered spikes.
November 16th, 2007 at 8:06 pm
only thing i ever had stolen was my mind.
November 16th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
And worst of all… they took the refrigerator as well! Guess Biff will have to chug that milk before it goes bad.
November 16th, 2007 at 11:44 pm
His house has WHEELS too? That’s a death trap on wheels! lol
November 17th, 2007 at 2:07 am
@steam punk:
never had that happen to me, but there is sum1 i no who has a mushroom cut, and he isnt trustworthy. (a bit more trustworthy than the sounds of joey, but still not much)
November 17th, 2007 at 2:08 am
@garrett:
if they took the fridge, what would they do with the sticky notes?
November 17th, 2007 at 6:03 am
Holy crap I knew a kid nmed joey, he had a stupid haircut, like abowl cut or sumtin, i traded a video game with him ( a temporary trade ) then he moved to canada, thats a seven day trip from me, and I live in the far south
November 17th, 2007 at 3:49 pm
Well, I myself have never had anything stolen except a lone N64 game. (I think it was Starfox). My dad however, has had two realtivily nice bikes stolen…but then again, he kinda made it easy by leaving them infront of the house on the carport over night….lesse….as a family, we had some wierd guy go and steal cell phone earbuds out of cars…..they found the guy next door passed out in the neighbors van.
November 18th, 2007 at 5:04 pm
In January of 2005 our house was robbed. They cleaned us out, but I guess by the time they got to my bedroom they were tired or something because they only took my little box of change and my class ring and my DVDs I had in my room. I never got my Invader Zim box set replaced, because the insurance company got the name wrong and couldn’t find it
Apparently, they pulled a van up into our driveway in the middle of the day, broke open the front door, and just loaded up the van. And no one noticed, I guess. My mom got home from work and our house was torn apart and much emptier.
November 18th, 2007 at 5:05 pm
People used to try and steal my last car like none other. I drove it for two years and had seven attempts on it. It got to the point that I started doing repairs to it myself because every time people got to look at what was under the hood somebody tried to steal it because of how powerful it’s engine made it. You’d think that I owned a cammaro or something, but my car was a dodge stratus.
I wonder if’s Biff’s homeowners insurance covers house theft?
November 18th, 2007 at 5:58 pm
@Dragonbrad:
No lie, I live in Canada! Could it be…? :O
November 18th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
Every bike I have ever had has been stolen, excluding my first (which was a toddlers bike). The last bike I had stolen has the best story behind it. I went to the mall, locked my bike, and when I get back my bike is gone. The lock was still there, still locked to the bike rack… just no bike. It was like magic, luckily it wasn’t an expensive bike and hey anyone who can steal a locked bike and not disturb the bike gets props for magic in my opinion.
November 19th, 2007 at 10:07 am
The most recent theft I have had…would be out of my car. Someone broke into my car Halloween night. They left my expensive cd player…left my sound system, left my fancy gauges and left everything… They stole a cheap $15 data stick I had hooked into my cd player. It’s like thieves these days are so retarded. He could have easily ran of with…$250 worth of stuff. Owell, he isn’t getting any freebie seconds. I learned well from that little incident. Everything in my car is bolted down tight. Not easy to remove >.>
November 19th, 2007 at 6:25 pm
I used to know a guy that fit your exact description, Steam Punk!
Except that it was in southern California.
November 22nd, 2007 at 12:51 am
I have a story a bit like this.
We were throwing out a couch and were keeping it in the back driveway.
I was in a hurry to get inside for some reason so I just left it in the back
next to the house. when I came back to put it in the garrage the cushions
from the couch were missing. but my bike was untouched.
December 11th, 2007 at 9:48 am
my house runs on diesel.
March 18th, 2008 at 4:56 pm
Someone broke into my apartment once. I rather messy, so it took a while before I was sure someone had been in there. Anyway, I was/am a (rather crappy) magician and I had a bunch of gimmicked coins, almost all of which were stolen. They all had their own boxes and bags and must have looked like a coin collection. The sad thing is that though they were expensive to replace they would be worth nothing to a coin dealer or any normal person.
Someone also stole my bike in college, but since it wouldn’t shift out of fifth gear and the brakes were iffy to say the least, I wasn’t too upset.
June 13th, 2008 at 5:56 pm
Once a bus stopped at its station while I was passing by on foot, and two men exited. There were lots of bikes parked at the bus station. One of the men went to the bikes and called out to the other one, “Ey, Marcus, you don’t need to walk. This one isn’t locked!” Marcus came back - and stole the bike. In broad daylight. With old ladies waiting for their bus. IN FRONT OF A POLICE STATION.
July 21st, 2008 at 7:05 am
hey i’ve been reading since #200 and i’m now a big fan.
i’ve actually had a bike stolen from me once and my older brother tracked down the guy and chased him down and got it back for me. i was so happy and confused because my brother actually did something nice for me.
November 22nd, 2008 at 6:35 pm
My roommate’s soon to be ex-boyfriend’s bike has been sitting on the front porch for months, most of which the house was empty. and no one’s taken it. which is sad because i don’t like him much and he’s never coming back to here so i keep hopping someone will take it off my hands so i don’t have to worry about it. But someone took the fence posts, explain that one, they had to take down the fence to do that, were as the bike is right in the open next to a busy road.