November 30th, 2007
#389 - Hubba
Junk foods make a lot of claims to get our attention. “Now even cheesier!” “More cherry flavor!” “Crunchier than rocks!” I actually can’t eat Doritos anymore. I think they have become “Even more cheesier!” about 20 times since I was a kid. Now it seems like I’m eating the powder out of a box of mac & cheese. I actually had some store brand generic “Nacho cheese tortilla chips” recently that tasted great. It was like a flashback to the Doritos of my childhood.
Thanks for all the positive feedback we have been getting on the book! December starts tomorrow but there’s still time to place an order and get your books before the 25th.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:03 am
OH gosh…junk food is just getting out of hand…EXTREME! FIZZY!! EVEN JUICIER! WILL MAKE YOUR TONGUE GO LIMP WITH EXCITEMENT!
They even have “X-treme” fizzy yogurt now…What? Why is it blue? And why does it feel like I’m eating liquefied pop rocks?
November 30th, 2007 at 12:30 am
One starts wondering how healthy all this “better” food stuff is.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:46 am
This one really struck a chord with me; I like to look at the art before I read the caption and see if I can figure out what’s going on. Here I was thinking we possibly ate a porcupine or some-thing; the real caption was so out of left field… Quite funny…
Incidentally, I just tried Juicy Fruit for the first time this morning. Yeah, it was bursting with SOME-thing… Bleh.
November 30th, 2007 at 12:46 am
personally, i’ve always thought that doritos tasted like hypothetical ass.
November 30th, 2007 at 1:38 am
You can not resist the Dorito’s. Seriously I could care less about other chips, but Dorito’s will make a billon flavors that sound like they will suck, and I will still inhale them. They are chips of solid crack
November 30th, 2007 at 2:10 am
I can’t stand any flavor of Dorito’s but nacho cheese. But sun chips are my crack.
Also, I somehow managed to back myself into a page called wyciwyg//3/http://www.thebookofbiff.com/2007/11/30/389-hubba/ in my foward menu and has the link to this page in the address bar. Nothing happens when I open it in a tab, and it has no page title.
All it shows is an ad. Specifically, the Exiern ad. What’s the deal with that? Site glitch or did I just do something strange?
November 30th, 2007 at 2:17 am
god those adverts are annoying. especially the ones where they try to cram as many puns as possible into each word: ‘its FUNBELIEVABUBBLE!’
November 30th, 2007 at 2:37 am
I agree, I hate it when a product I used to like suddenly changes it’s recipe, I used to love the Sainsury brand potato triangles (basicly little crispy potato chips that had lots of salt on them) but then they suddenly came back with some “new better recipe” which just had some weird flavoured powder on the chips instead of the salt, I assume because of all the complaints about how we all have too much salt in our diets.
If I wanna eat healthily I’ll buy fruit, if not gimme my nice potato triangles back dammit!
November 30th, 2007 at 2:45 am
Hi! I’m back! My Metal Lord is right. Doritos are like crack.
… As a gum addict, this comic made me cringe.
November 30th, 2007 at 2:45 am
Didn’t the recipe for pringles change, or something like that?
One week, they were little pringle-shaped things of addiction, the next the tasted flat greasy and stale….I’m sorry to say they weren’t bursting with anything.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:02 am
y’know, this reminded me of that Monty Python sketch….y’know, the one with the crunchy frog
November 30th, 2007 at 3:10 am
7 up has all-natural flavors now.
I liked it better when the flavors were fake.
November 30th, 2007 at 3:42 am
o_o…Ouch.
And i agree, many junk food seem to make A LOT of claims…
November 30th, 2007 at 4:05 am
And for the title, Hubba. Does anyone remember Hubba Bubba Bubblegum? The non-stick bubblegum! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubba_Bubba
November 30th, 2007 at 5:54 am
What do you mean, “remember Hubba Bubba”? Hubba Bubba’s still going strong! Hell, I’m still seeing Hubba Bubba showbags at places, Hubba Bubba christmas stockings, the TV ads are still going…
November 30th, 2007 at 6:17 am
i totally got the wrong impression from today’s title.
lol
November 30th, 2007 at 6:54 am
Biff’s chewing “Hellraiser” brand bubblegum, isn’t he?
He looks like he’s gone punk rocker.
November 30th, 2007 at 7:28 am
That’s the last time Biff accepts gum from the office practical joker
November 30th, 2007 at 7:44 am
New from Wriggle-mint! Sea Urchin*-flavored gum! It’ll stick in your mind!**
*Artificial flavors added
** It will also stick to your toungue, your soft palate, and your cheeks.
@Alistair - UK:
Spring Surprise!
November 30th, 2007 at 8:24 am
I actually like the powder in the mac and cheese box…
Spearmint gum is always trustworthy, in my experience. There’s not much that they can change and it still be accepted as Spearmint.
November 30th, 2007 at 8:46 am
With all this talk about the older product being better than the new, I’m surprised no one’s said anything about the New Coke fiasco of the eighties. Now there was a backfiring recipe change.
November 30th, 2007 at 8:52 am
I’m with plankster… SPEARMINT IS AWESOME!!!
Biff must have some incredibly hard gum if it shot thru his skull. Either that or gum just does that to pen and ink drawings. Poor guy
November 30th, 2007 at 9:03 am
Haha. I’ve had that candy where
the flavor explodes in ones mouth
and makes the face pucker.
November 30th, 2007 at 9:42 am
Hahaha brilliant i’ve stopped eating cool Doritos because now they’ve “Improved the flavour” they just taste like buttery crap but the cheesy ones are still nice
November 30th, 2007 at 11:05 am
I just stick with plain Doritos. They’re the most likely to be skipped for restocking in the local stores, though.
Something that was really annoying one time: Got a pair of bags during a sale… and they were both heavily over-salted. And that’s coming from someone who likes salt too much.
November 30th, 2007 at 11:40 am
i about died laughing when i saw that picture….even without the caption you just know, deep down inside that biff is magically ridonkulous!!! lol
November 30th, 2007 at 11:50 am
Never been a fan of Nachos/doritos myself.
Also my copy of The Book of Biff came today. Rest of my family are now interested in Biffs (mis)adventures
November 30th, 2007 at 12:34 pm
How many of you here can remember, like me, when Doritos only came in one flavor?
November 30th, 2007 at 2:40 pm
Dear God, it’s me, Archemedes. Why did they have to take away Taco Flavored Doritos? Why?
November 30th, 2007 at 3:34 pm
Honestly I steer clear of most artificially flavored things. Natural food ftw.
Although I will eat Doritos. And Mountain Dew.
And…..
Cheezits. Cheezits are the bomb.
November 30th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
There was a sweet here once called “finni-booms” stupid name, if you ask me, but they were cheap and SOUR!
Seriously sour. More sour than sucking on a lemon. They made lemon juice taste sweet, they really did.
Sadly, i can’t find them anymore…..
November 30th, 2007 at 5:39 pm
Wow, all this talk about junk food is making me hungry!
I like to pop microwavable bags of popcorn instead of eating a bunch of chips. Though I still do like Doritos and Herr’s Sour Cream & Onion Potato Chips; they just really ruin your appetite after a while. XP
November 30th, 2007 at 6:13 pm
If a package ever claims “new and improved”, it’s talking about the packaging itself, not whatever it contains.
November 30th, 2007 at 9:05 pm
I agree with Bunnyman, Sun Chips are awesome. Oh, and the picture made me think Biff played too much Guitar Hero
November 30th, 2007 at 10:57 pm
oh, and on the subject of recipe changes, 2 words
new coke
*shudder*
November 30th, 2007 at 11:09 pm
New Coke? I love Coke, so I’m guessing I’m lucky I missed that.
November 30th, 2007 at 11:48 pm
And now to be (partly) random: For me, the worst artificial flavor by far is banana. In fact, it doesn’t taste even remotely like banana. To me, it tastes more like cough syrup. Or rather, what cough syrup tasted like before they started putting flavors in it. Which is nasty. While some people don’t find it quite that bad, I know no one who likes it or thinks it actually tastes like banana.
December 1st, 2007 at 12:09 am
As the price of sugar rose, Coca Cola kept cutting back on how much they put into Coke and replacing it with high fructose corn syrup.
When they changed the recipe to New Coke, they also completely removed sugar.
“Classic Coke” is NOT the same as the pre-New Coke. It still has no real sugar in it.
The closest thing you can get to what Coke was 30-some years ago, before they started cutting the coke with corn syrup is Kosher Coke.
Unfortunately the only ways to get Kosher Coke is to live somewhere there’s a large number of Jewish people or order it online from places that’ll jack you hard on the price. Corn syrup is a grain product and Jews don’t consume anything that’s in any way connected to any kind of grains during Passover Week.
If you like Dr. Pepper (ewwwww), there’s ONE bottling plant that still makes it with real sugar. When the company that owned the Dr. Pepper brand decided to change to corn syrup, that plant’s owner just said “Not gonna do it!” and to this day still hasn’t. You can order it direct from the plant online, but it costs as much as “gourmet” sodas like Henry Weinhard’s or Jones.
December 1st, 2007 at 10:00 am
At my house, for some reason the cottage cheese doesn’t teast right. I know it’s not a junk food, but they changed something. And I also thought Biff ate a porcupine.
December 1st, 2007 at 10:05 am
i agree with Your Metal Lord Says, they are indeed solid crack, and that is why you cannont feasibly buy the small grab bags, that are “a single serving”, they arent. you have to have more!
December 1st, 2007 at 8:02 pm
The only chips I can eat are sun chips.
The rest are like simultaneously eating the powdered cheese Chris mentioned, and chewing tin foil.
December 1st, 2007 at 10:19 pm
I completely agree! I can still eat Doritos, but had commented that they were becoming TOO cheesy once. They just keep trying to be more and more extreme…
December 1st, 2007 at 11:03 pm
The only kind of chips I seriously like now are sour cream and onion chips. xD So I can see what you mean.
December 2nd, 2007 at 3:56 pm
I particularly enjoy “salt and vinegar” flavor chips. those are soo good. that, and plain flavor sunchips are pretty good too.
December 2nd, 2007 at 10:29 pm
loveing it, btw i just posted this from my wii :]
December 3rd, 2007 at 3:42 am
I like the powder from Mac and Cheese just fine.
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:07 pm
looks tasty
December 3rd, 2007 at 8:44 pm
My brother once ate an entire huge bag of Doritos and to this day he refuses to eat Dorito’s. That incident happened a good 7 years ago.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:25 pm
I hate it when they change the recipe to something that’s actualy, ya know, GOOD, then it just dissapears forever (what happend to sprite remix?)
December 5th, 2007 at 2:10 am
wasnt there a candy a while ago that claime to be “like a kick in the mouth”
That never really appealed to me.
December 8th, 2007 at 3:50 am
you know, i kinda liked the 3d doritostasted like bugles (best chip shape EVER)^_^
December 22nd, 2007 at 7:04 am
Dorito’s with too much flavor? Around here we only get the ones that are missing the flavoring with one or two full of flavor so that they’re a different color than the rest. At least that’s been my experience with them. I used to eat a big bag of them twice a week, but eventually I had to suffer through way too many naked Dorito’s just to get to the freckled ones.
December 29th, 2007 at 12:01 am
This reminds me of a Penny Arcade strip where Gabe eats a Dorito and explodes with lightning and smoke.
January 3rd, 2008 at 7:07 pm
The ultimate in piercings.
July 21st, 2008 at 6:20 pm
im questioning wether my feet smell like doritos, or doritos smell like my feet. I’ve stopped eating doritos, at least untill i find out.
August 28th, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Either way, you’d make a great human raclette :-9
August 31st, 2008 at 3:40 pm
Foods also seem to get worse when they claim that they’re healthier too. At the very least stop saying it has the same taste as before.
September 6th, 2008 at 10:21 am
I always thought that Doritos never had enough cheese powder. Am I just crazy?