February 5th, 2008
#436 - Micro
I have my main screwdriver that fits 90% of the screws I come across. Then there is the occasional really large or really tiny screw that I have to go find another tool to fit. The ones that are the problem for me are the screws that are just slightly too big or slightly too small. Those are the frustrating ones that wind up ruining my screwdriver or stripping the screw making it impossible to loosen or tighten. I need some sort of screwdriver that can temporarily liquefy and flow into the grooves of any size screw making a perfect fit every time.

February 5th, 2008 at 12:02 am
I bet Biff’s antennae could unscrew that thing.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:04 am
There’s a comic device that describes a situation wherein the humor comes from understatement and misdirection… I wish I could remember the word…
February 5th, 2008 at 12:04 am
If you ever find such a screwdriver, please let me know. I could definitely use one.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:07 am
Damn. It really sucks when you go to do a job, only to find that you brought a standard sized screwdriver to tackle a monster sized screw… Happens to me all the time.
The Duck Has Spoken.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:13 am
I have a dandy pocket knife that can take care of those nasty small screws. but it always aggrovates me when I come across one of those darned hexagonal screws…
February 5th, 2008 at 2:18 am
OH MY GOD…..I just read every single one from where it says first to here…in a single day. Cause today marks the begining of my Watching of Biff. I bow to thee Chris.
February 5th, 2008 at 2:25 am
biff has a new follower! lets all have a Party!
February 5th, 2008 at 2:49 am
there sorta is a way to make a screwdriver to fit any hole: melt a ball-point pen with a lighter and stick the molten plastic in the hole. then it hardens, and you can use it as a screwdriver.
February 5th, 2008 at 3:20 am
Oh the screw, the horror!
February 5th, 2008 at 4:06 am
I wanna know what the screw is -for-…..
February 5th, 2008 at 6:11 am
I think theres a device that tightens around a screwhead, but only if its out a bit, and then theres one thats a bunch of small pins that fit in the grooves, but their both for drills. i think…
February 5th, 2008 at 6:11 am
@ FriskyF: Welcome!
@ pieman: (clack) Roger that (clack)
@ RFPT: It would be too brittle. But doing that with a tougher material would also require to melt the screw because of the temperature
Idea: temporarily weld the screw to a handled bar with a rigid material with a lower melting point than both the screw and the bar =)
February 5th, 2008 at 7:34 am
@FriskyF - Hey thanks for stopping by
February 5th, 2008 at 8:17 am
I’ve heard of Liquid Wrench(TM, and all that rot), but Liquid Screwdriver? So… What you’re saying is that you need a good stiff drink to deal with those non-standard screws?
Biff-tastic Idea!
BTW: I bet that size-mongo screw is what holds Biff’s house to the earth. If he undoes it, he’s going to get another Biff-tastic surprise!
February 5th, 2008 at 8:27 am
Torx screws are really nice. That star shape they have is really hard to strip out. They are starting to replace phillips head screwdrivers for some electronics, like the X-Box.
February 5th, 2008 at 10:13 am
Thats a good idea about the liquefying screwdriver, It could almost be like a soldering iron but you’d have to find a way to get every tiny bit of the lead off of the screw
February 5th, 2008 at 10:19 am
I have a real problem with those tiny screwdrivers…
Usually the screw is in too tight and I end up breaking the screwdriver in some fashion. They never make those things strong enough.
Chris: This isn’t exactly what you asked for, but it is a way to get stripped screws out… Get either a metal epoxy (works best) or some crazy glue and a thin rod that will fit into the stripped screw. Put a generous amount of adhesive onto the rod’s end and put the rod into the socket. Make sure none of it seeps into the screw’s hole or it’ll be in there until armageddon. Rig it so it will dry in an upright position. Once it’s dry, just get some pliers or something and twist out the screw.
MaskedMan: OMG I bet you’re right!
February 5th, 2008 at 10:44 am
I solved that problem… I just bought every screwdriver set known to man. Of course it can take me days to find the perfect driver for one screw… =/
February 5th, 2008 at 10:53 am
maybe Biff should turn it be hand… O_o
February 5th, 2008 at 11:24 am
There’s a cosmic law that says
the more important that screw is,
the more likely you are to strip it.
February 5th, 2008 at 11:27 am
I used to work for my university theater dept. as a light tech, but sometimes I got to use the carpentry power tools. I learned that girls are pretty wimpy about power tools. I was always afraid to push too hard or break it or something. Needless to say, many a phillips screw was stripped.
…that just didn’t sound right… ‘_’
February 5th, 2008 at 11:36 am
I hate it when that happens….
February 5th, 2008 at 11:41 am
I read this comic every day at work and I usually silently chuckle to myself, but I could not help but laugh out loud when I saw this one. Especially since I have a tiny monitor and I have to scroll down to read the caption. I saw the comic and thought “What the heck?” and then I read the caption and lost it! Great stuff, as always. Thanks and keep up the good work.
February 5th, 2008 at 12:07 pm
I’ve never had that problem. Of course, I am the only female I’ve ever met with more screwdrivers than shoes. And I am the only person I’ve ever met with a #4 phillips bit.
In any case, I’m so glad phillips and slotted are on the way out. Torx (star) and Robertson (square) are so much easier to deal with. I’ve never stripped out one of those.
February 5th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Just use a table chair. I have used flat tips with Phillips before.
February 5th, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I would like to meet the man named Phillip with a head like that!
That Screwdriver idea you have… hmmm… you could do it. but you’d need a really hot blow drier.
(first post i’ve done for biff. Awesome Comic!)
February 5th, 2008 at 2:30 pm
This is hilarious if you’ve been in this sort of situation.. and sadly I have. .. or is it a good thing, because I find the comic hilarious? I can’t tell. :
February 5th, 2008 at 2:39 pm
wow u need the perfect tool
February 5th, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Well that’s an understatement if I ever saw one………!
February 5th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
Well, if it’s on a larger (read: non-flammable) object, it’s possible to weld a nut to a screw (or bolt) head in order to remove it.
February 5th, 2008 at 4:45 pm
I wonder if they sell power screw drivers for that at Home Depot… wait what is he even screwing in in the first place?
February 5th, 2008 at 5:13 pm
They make that. It’s called Gator or something.
February 5th, 2008 at 7:20 pm
@ Stuart
I saw an infomercial for that…I think…It may have been called something else…It’s a double sided thing…one side drills a hole in the stripped screw, the other is perfectly to fit with the hole the one side drilled…..
February 5th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
The only screws I ever need to remove, unless you count screw caps, are to battery compartments. So yeah, not much trouble with stripped screws.
February 5th, 2008 at 7:38 pm
Stuart P. Bentley, are you perhaps thinking of Gator Grip? I used to have one of them.
February 5th, 2008 at 11:51 pm
Remember Moon Goop? Also known as “Oobleck”? I believe it’s some weird concoction of corn starch and water or something, but it has the neat property that its surface tension is proportional to the force applied to it. So, theoretically, if you put a drop of it onto the screw head, you could poke your smaller screwdriver in and turn hard and the Moon Goop’d harden into a shell.
February 6th, 2008 at 12:46 am
@MaskedMan
If that is the screw holding his house to the Earth why would it be in the side of his house? …I would like to see that “Biff-tastic surprise” though.
February 6th, 2008 at 1:08 am
they do have a thing that removes stripped screws, you need a drill for it though…. but if you have one of those it’s all peachy keen!
February 6th, 2008 at 1:52 am
chris, this could very well be my favorite biff ever…idk maybe still the hand puppet scare…or…whatever…i have a lot of favorites, but this one is definitely one.
February 6th, 2008 at 7:36 am
There should just be one universal size for screws. Everything would be easier then.
February 6th, 2008 at 11:10 am
Man! If Biff can’t find a screwdriver that works…he’s screwed!
*rimshot*
February 6th, 2008 at 5:35 pm
@ the newcomer
does this mean you lost your post virginity on a page about screws?
how conveniant lol
February 6th, 2008 at 8:15 pm
@ Sleepingorange I believe you’re talking about hyperbole.
I hate using screwdrivers because I’m in constant fear that I’ll strip them. It’s sad.
February 7th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
Alex-
Impossible, man. How can ONE standard screw size be used both to hold your CD-ROM’s laser generator in place and still be strong enough to hold your car’s engine in place? It’s just so far outside the remotest possibility.
April 2nd, 2008 at 3:22 pm
Hyperbole is exaggeration for effect. I am afraid I do not remember the word for understatement humor; however, a reverse dictionary could probably find the word.