August 5th, 2008
#566 - Subtle
It’s a sad thing when I go take a bite out of some sort of crappy prepackaged food and find that it tastes more horrific than normal. That’s when I look at the package to see tiny little letters that spell out some sort of evil words like “lite” or “sugar free” or “reduced fat.” If I’m going through all that trouble to eat crappy food I want the full experience. All of the fake crap should have black and yellow caution tape wrapped across the center so I don’t accidentally purchase it thinking I’m getting real crap.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:03 am
Same with skim milk. You might as well be using water.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:04 am
lol very good
August 5th, 2008 at 12:09 am
They make caffeinated oatmeal?
August 5th, 2008 at 12:14 am
@ Eric:
No, “they” don’t. However, Biff does. He’s also putting serious consideration into labeling his homemade breakfast more clearly. It’s only a matter of time until he mistakes raisins for coffee beans.
The Duck Has Spoken.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:29 am
I’m calling “mix-ups” week.
August 5th, 2008 at 12:44 am
That…is a very strange place to realize your mistake…and for a nap.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:03 am
If they’re caffinating water, why not oatmeal?
And it’s only a matter of time before they come out with Decaffinated Water Joes.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:04 am
What I hate is when they try to make something healthy that is by definition unhealthy. The two ultimate exercises in futility: the whole grain hot dog bun and organic popcorn.
@Fafnir13: I think the nap was caused by the mistake.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:19 am
Oh maaan. It’s an epidemic, for sure.
I’ve been told that, thanks to diet/lite/etc products having an even larger percentage of artificial components than usual, they’re a lot cheaper for the companies to produce. Yet they charge them more than normal stuff. Such is the policy…
However, some products are aimed at the “super cheap” market, but not the “diet/lite” market. Those have the same cheaper ingredients, but try to hide the “diet/lite” label as much as possible (since it’s demanded by law, to be there).
I only mistake them rarely, ‘cos I pay lots of attention to such things…
But when it’s the elderly and/or poor-sighted in the household that go shopping, it gets troublesome.
With the elderly especially, ‘cos they often fail to notice the difference even if the lettering is gigantic. We of newer generations are accustomed to detecting the tell-tale signs in color and design, I think…
Thus, my household has a tendency to get an accidental diet/lite product at least once a month.
I despise all such products, I believe they shouldn’t exist.
But I gotta admit, I never had and never will have any sort of overweight. I cannot really decide for the millions of people that have to mind their weight every time they shop, cook and eat.
@starseedjenny
I’d daresay The Biff mixes up, or otherwise misplaces functionalities, all too often.
Then again, I would probably be just as care-free about the consequences of my mix-ups, if I had Biff’s ability to come back whole a day after…
Gotta love xkcd, btw (boom de yada)
August 5th, 2008 at 1:25 am
I love the Google Ad running next to the comic. It’s a US FDA notice with a big red stamp across the front that says “Detained Label Violation”
August 5th, 2008 at 2:24 am
Eric: If they have caffeinated gum, breath mints, candy, chap stick, and soap. are you really surprised that there would be caffeinated oatmeal?
August 5th, 2008 at 4:19 am
Heh. I didn’t know there was such thing as caffeinated oatmeal. Is it coffee flavor.
August 5th, 2008 at 4:25 am
Sorry. That should be a question mark at the end of “flavor.”
August 5th, 2008 at 7:26 am
haaah is it weird that I find it funny there is a coffee ad running down the side of this webpage??
August 5th, 2008 at 9:23 am
gaa, i hate when packages are similar-looking
and i buy the wrong one. i mean, give a color
clue, or since the store knows *everything*
about me anyway (thanks to it’s loyalty card),
they should beep me a warning at the checkout
when i choose a similar but obviously wrong item.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Decafinated *anything* is an abomination. So are “lite” food products.
Make it real, or don’t make it at all.
August 5th, 2008 at 9:44 am
Confusion Week?
August 5th, 2008 at 11:40 am
“Caffeinated bacon? Baconated Grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?”
And you can get caffeinated eye-drops as well…
August 5th, 2008 at 11:47 am
biff’s eyebrows sure are… bouyant
August 5th, 2008 at 11:55 am
Death to fat-free yoghurt. It is vile stuff.
August 5th, 2008 at 1:18 pm
Caffeinated oatmeal? And I thought regular oatmeal sent me to the bathroom… Come to think of it, so does coffee. But I never considered mixing the two. That could be epic and/or horrible.
August 5th, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Salad bar… Fat-free Ranch Dressing… >.< BAAAD Memories.
And now I feel I must caffeinate some oatmeal.
August 5th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Definitely Mix-Ups Week. And since when do snorkles work underwater?…
I know, I know, Biffland.
August 5th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Wait…I don’t get it. What does the oatmeal have to do with water?
August 5th, 2008 at 10:24 pm
Wow, isnt Biff gonna drown now?
I dont get caffeine, which is why when I go to sleep, “dying” is the definitive word for my sleepin g and waking hours. Chris should do a comic where Biff breaks the alarm clock for waking him up an “hour early” when its really time to get up. Heck knows it happens to me alot.
August 5th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
We have a box of caffeinated oatmeal in the cabinet right now! Used to have 3. It makes me happy in the morning.
No idea why Biff is underwater. Maybe his house flooded?
Barq’s diet root beer: WAY too similar packaging! 2 liter bottle. Yuck.
August 5th, 2008 at 11:59 pm
Nahh, its cos Biff took the decaffeinated oatmeal, which didn`t give him enough energy to keep going when he was swimming in the ocean…
Wow, that seems like a complex explanation for a Biff comic.
August 6th, 2008 at 12:04 am
For all those who dont get it Biff had decaf oatmeal before he went snorkeling, and because it was decaf he got tired and needed a nap…poor
Biff…
And I have a new theory. Biff’s eyebrows grant him invinicibility! Sweet.
August 6th, 2008 at 12:13 am
(in response to the description)
Such language! In a high class establishment such as this!
August 6th, 2008 at 9:48 pm
I just googled “Caffeinated Oatmeal”, and there’s one brand: Morning Spark. Also, I’m a long time reader, first time commenter. Hi!
August 7th, 2008 at 10:33 am
*brandishes caution tape* Now I’m gonna have to go and raid the supermarket, putting this all over the diet stuff.
August 17th, 2008 at 1:08 pm
at Chimera Dragonfang
my family just pumps it full of whip cream, and the extra fatty kind.
October 18th, 2008 at 7:10 pm
low fat and all that stuff does a mild number on my fiance’s digestion…and that was BEFORE Splenda. I have no problems with the stuff, but poor Dif can’t ingest the littlest amount of sucralose without it tearing his guts up.
December 31st, 2008 at 10:33 pm
I just buy the cheapest Shift there is, and damn the taste! At least I’m acquiring sustenance.