September 16th, 2008
#591 - Chiroptera
When a certain kind of food or drink you enjoy is also prized by others in your area it may disappear when you aren’t looking. This seems to happen a lot at the office I work at. I frequently see notes on the refrigerator along the lines of “To the person that ate my yogurt, I hope you enjoyed it!” I’m sure they wanted to write something else.
September 16th, 2008 at 12:33 am
At the office I would find that completely unacceptable, but at home that’s a different story. I grew up with two brothers so it was very much a first come first serve kind of thing. If you were late getting to the snack cabinet you ended up with Saltines and water.
September 16th, 2008 at 12:41 am
Hehe, OJ bats.
September 16th, 2008 at 12:47 am
that happens to me all the time (the food stealing thing…not the bats…), ill be looking for my food i was saving in the fridge and my sister will say “oh that?…yeah I ate it already”. now I have to hide it…
so i’m gonna go with biff being inconvenienced by bugs and other pests week?
September 16th, 2008 at 1:36 am
Chris if you ever see a hilarious post it take a picture and submit it to the site that my name links to.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:39 am
This is what you get for stopping in bat country.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:58 am
Better watch your bananas Biff…….
September 16th, 2008 at 2:05 am
Superhero week? SPIDER (man), BAT (man). What’s next? Antman?
September 16th, 2008 at 2:10 am
I would have written “I hope you enjoyed it. P.S., the crunchy bits contained a substance that causes severe constipation, a medication that I use to combat my explosive diarrhea. While you may have just succeeded in taking my dessert, you won’t poo for a week.
Have fun!”
September 16th, 2008 at 3:04 am
If that happened to me, I’d write on the note: “I have the antidote.” -RG.
September 16th, 2008 at 3:24 am
Phobia week, only Biff isn’t scared of anything, only mildly annoyed.
September 16th, 2008 at 3:26 am
Living with pests week.
September 16th, 2008 at 4:47 am
What a coincidence.
Breakfast has been bland for me since the mold spores got to my ham.
September 16th, 2008 at 7:49 am
NO BOX OF PIZZA IS SAFE IN A WALGREENS FRIDGE.
You’d think a store with employees that all know and see eachother on a regular basis wouldn’t steal food from a box marked “Chris’s Pizza”
I’ve got a locker, but it’s not refridgerated nor is it big enough to fit a box of pizza in
September 16th, 2008 at 8:27 am
If any of my food items were to disappear from the cafeteria fridge I would probably put up a “Lost Cat” style poster on the fridge with a carefully rendered picture of the missing item, making sure to have REWARD in large bold letters on the bottom. The reward you ask? Well the item of course!
September 16th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Batman comes to my house and drinks all my O.J.
September 16th, 2008 at 8:43 am
I have a rule that applies to anywhere i live: food left unattended for more than 5 minutes is fair game.
September 16th, 2008 at 11:06 am
Heh. Around here, the general policy is “Make enough for everyone and leave it on the stove” and if you’ve got something you want for yourself in the fridge, you write your name on it. People have the right to appeal name-writing if it’s done unfairly.
September 16th, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Just put your lunch in a bio-hazard bag. That’s what my brother-in-law does at the hospital he works at.
September 16th, 2008 at 1:14 pm
@ Micah, Atom ANT!
Biff has discovered a new species of bat, vampire fruit bats. No fruit juice is safe.
September 16th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
I know what the theme is!…I think…also, I have no idea how to describe it…unwanted animals week?
September 16th, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Also, it’s really annoying when the food really is yours. Stop eating my pizza brother, we split the pizza among the family!
September 16th, 2008 at 3:58 pm
@Twilightfairy, I like Antman better. Hank Pym, Marvel character. Later Giant Man or something like that.
And I was thinking it was more of a…fruit bat. Vampire would have to suck blood. Fruit bats would drink OJ.
September 16th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Creepy things living with Biff week. haha.
September 16th, 2008 at 4:30 pm
bad roommates week
September 16th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
@Drakey: actually did something like that where I used to work. I finally had enough of someone stealing my lunches and wrote “you REALLY do NOT want to steal my lunch. Karma happens” on the front of the bag in huge markered letters. What I neglected to mention was the “lunch” was actually a trap, and laced with yellow phenolphthalein [used to be used as the main active ingredient of Ex-Lax, but not anymore] which had the double effect of not only being an unforgettable deterrent, but also making it pretty obvious who the culprit was. Naturally it was this bozo who made about ten times my salary and could probably afford to have his lunches brought in by helicopter if he wanted. I dont think I’d try something like this in these litigious times, though…
September 16th, 2008 at 11:03 pm
As an eldest brother, I had to learn to share…somewhat…grudgingly. But I share actively. Or share by only mumbling and moving on, if they take something I wanted. Tends to involve the sugar-stuff mostly.
Lucky for me, my tastes differ at some points…I tend to eat a lot of sweet stuff. And they tend to it rather little of it.
So, while people sometimes grab from my supplies, there’s often enough left.
There was this one situation that bothered me so much I still remember it with hatred in my heart. I brought over 2 solid pounds of top-quality chocolates from vacations once. Homemade, with recipes hailing from the swiss and germans. Totally delicious…it’s been over 2 years and still local chocolate doesn’t taste as good anymore…
Heck, I even loved the coffee-laced ones, and I totally loathe coffee.
I shared with everyone, pretty much. Family at large, friends, classmates, co-workers…
With an uncanny tendency, those people I liked the least..Those that got to my chocolate by mere courtesy, ‘cos otherwise I pretty much loathed their presence…
Would grab the best, and in the biggest quantities…with weak excuses such as “I take some for my family.” I mean handfuls.
While disliking people is a highly subjective thing…I think this proves that I disliked them ‘cos they’ve always been bastards to begin with. And they probably knew what I thought of them…so they took revenge on my top-notch chocolate.
I take this opportunity to invite the undoubtedly high population of mercenaries visiting this site, to send me their resumes and fees for the bloody murder of those undespicable chocolate thieves (pun intended).
Also…I’m beginning to wonder…can anything really scare da Biff? He can get annoyed, pissed, bothered, startled. But rarely (if ever) truly scared or frightened.
I do seem to recall it happened at least once…anyone?
September 16th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
People who attempt to steal my food without my permission are easily dealt with when I let out a bloodcurdling scream that can be heard quite literally a quarter mile away. I call it the Ripley Scream. And it freaks out people enough so they dont take my delicious things like chocolate and blueberry turnovers. I am not kidding, I can scream like that, I actually wonder though if it would unnerve Biff though…..
September 17th, 2008 at 1:15 am
I second Micah’s superhero week. The Tick would also fit the things that bug theme. Let’s also not forget Underdog, except what could be annoying about him?
September 17th, 2008 at 3:42 pm
Someone once stole food from a fridge at a Relay call center. Everyone there at the time was informed that security cameras would be checked, and the perpetrator would be fired. I’m sure no one on that shift even CONSIDERED stealing food again
September 18th, 2008 at 7:32 am
Ah - Fruit bats!
September 20th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
One of my mom’s co-workers got tired of his chocolate bar stash being raided on a daily basis.
So he brought his pet tarantula to work and put it in his desk drawer.
The next day, candy bars were strewn all over the office.
His candy bars were never raided again.
October 2nd, 2008 at 4:33 pm
I think I have vampire calves in my house…we can’t keep milk in and there are always little holes in the carton.
October 16th, 2008 at 5:42 pm
“Biff realizes that the carton needs vitamin C too.”
or
“Biff realizes that drinking Apple juice from the carton in front of the fridge makes the OJ jealous.”