September 17th, 2008
#592 - Carnivora
My shredder is really loud. I try to never use it unless I’m the only one home. Because of this, the stack of papers that need shredding gets pretty big by the time I can get to it. My shredder is a strip cutter and it seems to expand the volume of paper to ten times larger than when I started. I’ve nearly filled our 50 gallon recycling bin with a days worth of shredding. I wonder if I put a box of it outside in the spring if the neighborhood would be full of birds nests featuring my social security number.
September 17th, 2008 at 12:48 am
Shredding papers always brings me such great satisfaction. I guess it remind me of the good ole days when I did a short stint at Enron.
September 17th, 2008 at 1:06 am
I was right! It’s the superhero animal week!
September 17th, 2008 at 1:18 am
Intresting biff clothes…wait aminute…REFRENCE!
September 17th, 2008 at 1:42 am
The Go Go Gophers came to mind before I read that caption, but then I knew they weren’t superheros. They were tricksters, more like.
I suppose I’m revealing my age here. Anyone under forty is probably saying ‘the who?’ They were cartoon characters. Done by the Rocky and Bullwinkle guys, I think.
Hey, Rocket J. Squirrel! He was a superhero. Kind of. He could fly, he had a sidekick, and they were always foiling the schemes of that evil duo Natasha and Boris Baddenoff.
September 17th, 2008 at 2:17 am
That’s one efficient shredder
Here i put them in the recycling bag.
September 17th, 2008 at 3:12 am
Nature once again proves that machines will never beat it in efficiency. Maybe convenience, but still.
September 17th, 2008 at 4:55 am
What happens when the badger crawls out looking for the guy who just filled his mouth with papercuts…?
September 17th, 2008 at 7:49 am
That Biff is one resourceful guy.
September 17th, 2008 at 9:02 am
Chris - I laughed
September 17th, 2008 at 9:16 am
@Pirateguybrush - Really, what more could I ask for?
September 17th, 2008 at 9:38 am
“Biff learns that the yard snakes never throw away their junk mail.”
September 17th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
aren’t wolverines extremely vicious? I know a shredder’s dangerous but they don’t tend to go berserk once they’ve tasted blood(caution: ALWAYS be prepared to plug off the berserk shredder)…
also, was Biff’s blood shown ever?
September 17th, 2008 at 4:29 pm
Okay… seriously… Am I the only one whos noticed how freakin huge biff’s backyard is!?
Seriously! He must make a good living off all his inventions.
September 17th, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Haha. My guess for the caption was something like “Biff wrote letters to the oh-so annoying badgers on his skiing hill.”
Yours is much better, as always, Chris.
September 17th, 2008 at 5:17 pm
i.half4: “I suppose I’m revealing my age here. Anyone under forty is probably saying ‘the who?’ They (The Go Go Gophers) were cartoon characters. Done by the Rocky and Bullwinkle guys, I think.”
Nope. They were produced by the guys who gave us Underdog.
September 17th, 2008 at 5:31 pm
Good point there speaker blast, it looks like there’s hills!
Biff doesn’t have too much trouble following iron maidens orders.
September 17th, 2008 at 5:44 pm
Ahhhhh, the many weird wonders of Biffs backyard.
September 17th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
P.S. I’m with ya there Chris. Oh the joys of mutalating paper:)
:) 
September 17th, 2008 at 5:53 pm
We always used our paper shreds for my sisters pet rats. Why buy sawdust when you have all this perfectly good paper to use?
September 17th, 2008 at 6:52 pm
what does his colors have to do with?
September 17th, 2008 at 10:54 pm
I never understood the point of a shredder. Do people regularly dig through Joe Shmoe’s garbage?
Heck, how much protection does a shredder even offer? I mean, couldn’t someone intent on getting that information consider it worth their time to spend a few hours matching up the bits of paper? I mean you’ll know right away if one isn’t matching. It’s just a large puzzle.
Here’s a better solution: fire.
September 17th, 2008 at 11:06 pm
@speakerblast: Maybe it’s bigger on the inside than on the outside, so he gets this huge space in a normal-sized lot.
no name. Wolverine (of x-men fame) wears a yellow and blue suit.
September 17th, 2008 at 11:55 pm
@MadDavid: Like a hammerspace yard?
@dark jaguar: Fire would be good, were it not illegal toburn things in your yard… Surprising my dad never got arrested when he tried to grill fish, heh.
September 18th, 2008 at 7:32 am
@Morzikei;
You’ve obviously not worked with the same kind of shredders I have (or Biff, for that matter!) - We used to have one we called “Clyde.” Clyde could eat an entire tech manual, binder and all. Once, Clyde nailed a cow-orker’s tie, and I swear the damn thing went into overdrive!
September 18th, 2008 at 10:19 pm
don’t get your hand stuck in that shredder or else no more hand and the wolverine will be coming out after you
September 18th, 2008 at 11:52 pm
wow biff has a huge backyard.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:17 am
That just raises further questions! Where are you where it’s illegal to have a BBQ in your own yard? Secondly, no fire place?
And this still doesn’t answer the questions about how effective merely cutting the paper into fine “just need to assemble” puzzle pieces is all that effective against a determined info thief or why you think people are rummaging in your garbage on a regular enough basis to justify the purchase.
September 19th, 2008 at 1:17 am
I’ll just say it. People with shredders are stuck up! ^-^
September 19th, 2008 at 4:06 pm
Biff seems to have appliance issues.
September 27th, 2008 at 11:34 am
@dark jaguar: If someone is determined enough to get your information that they’ll spend hours matching small strips of paper to each other, they’re determined enough to break into your house and steal your money and credit card(s). So yes, a paper shredder will stop people from getting your information from the trash. Besides, not everyone uses them for security. Paper shredders also allow your trash cans to hold more paper, and some people just like mutilating paper.
@Morzikei: No. Wolverines are not vicious. Going berserk when they taste blood is an urban (or, rather, rural) legend generated by our insistence that we, for some reason, taste better than other animals. Wolverines aren’t any more vicious than ferrets are.
October 16th, 2008 at 5:47 pm
“Biff realizes the best fishing worms come with a pedigree.”
or
“It is proper procedure to fill out the necessesary paperwork before you get your fishing bait.”
October 16th, 2008 at 5:49 pm
“Biff hides the rest of his gray hairs from last year”
he put them on the paper for transport and just let gravity take over when he got to the hole.
December 17th, 2008 at 2:50 pm
Long time reader, first time poster. I use my gerbils for exactly the same thing