July 29th, 2009
#817 – Vanity
One of my earliest memories that I can place a date to was playing in the sand at a beach. I was a little under 2 years old and on a family vacation. I was digging a hole in the sand with my little plastic shovel and got confused when I hit water. How could this dry warm sand be suddenly leaking water?
July 29th, 2009 at 12:24 am
Some of my earliest memories involve being in, and under, odd pieces of furniture. Honestly, my parents still have them, and I’m like “That’s not 6′ tall! How did I get under that?!”
July 29th, 2009 at 12:38 am
Muscular Biff.
Both dangerously awesome and frightening at the same time.
What level of chaos can he cause now, when he and the Sandman have teamed up?
July 29th, 2009 at 12:46 am
Not being able to turn the page is a small price to pay for those muscles.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:19 am
Biff looks different somehow…
Must be the eyebrows.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:26 am
@ Space Butler:
What are you talking about? Think those eyebrows are just for show?
July 29th, 2009 at 1:32 am
Biff’s eyebrows are quite versatile.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:57 am
Is this the first appearance of the REAL Book of Biff? I like how Biff made himself a sandtowel too.
@ Nicoli20: You mean, like, always the same, but he can wear them with anything, right? The difference here being an optical illusion?
July 29th, 2009 at 2:01 am
@ Space Butler: The first time I read that, I actually thought you meant Biffs hands were too big to turn those tiny pages. Then I looked at the picture again, and I think I got it that time.
July 29th, 2009 at 2:14 am
That sculpture is awesome by itself. No need to get the muscles as a core for that sand mould.
July 29th, 2009 at 3:02 am
I laughed so hard I upset the Earth’s orbit.
True story.
July 29th, 2009 at 6:45 am
I remember trying to do that to my brothers…both usually woke up pretty fast when I tried. I ended up giving up and just burying them to stop sunburns.
July 29th, 2009 at 7:18 am
talk about over compensating! haha
July 29th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Warning PG-13: (scary biff speaks?) “Now i am become golem. There be no place for the word “life” here!”
July 29th, 2009 at 9:22 am
*cough* steroids *cough*
But seriously, that’s demented.
July 29th, 2009 at 9:23 am
Boy oh boy, wait till the tide comes in, Biff’ll get a rude awakening XD
July 29th, 2009 at 9:57 am
This has my mind wandering to the normally taboo subject of eyebrow steroids.
July 29th, 2009 at 10:49 am
@Dzelda;
What… The tide will wash away his sand trunks? How embarassing!
@Chris;
You’re telling us that as a kid you sprang a leak in the beach sand? I hope you patched it up quick, before the beach deflated or sank!
July 29th, 2009 at 11:05 am
So Biff’s reading Conan….interesting.
July 29th, 2009 at 11:20 am
@MaskedMan – No I did not fix the leak, this is why there are now only 50 states.
July 29th, 2009 at 11:23 am
XD Oh, that’s awesome! I laughed so hard, I scared the birds away outside. This reminds me of all of those really cool sand sculptures I’ve pictures of – like the one where the sea serpent is eating the artist’s head.
Your little story also reminded of when I found out why the ocean is so highly feared and respected. On a trip to the beach, I’m usually the first one and the last one out of the water. Mom never went swimming, preferring to read on her blanket and get some sun. My sister and step-dad simply got tired of catching waves quicker than I did. On the day that we went, the waves were just right. There were bunches of small/medium-ish ones perfect for body surfing in the area where us kids could touch the ground. But they started out as bigger ones just a little bit a ways. And ooooh, they looked tempting. Once I was left alone in the water, I swam a little further out, thinking that they weren’t THAT big.
When I get out to the right spot, the water starts to really drop and pull at me. The level got low enough that I could plant my feet into the sand and brace against the under current. A wave rose higher and higher, until it loomed over me, three times my height (my perception might be a little obscured, but this is how I remember it). At that moment, I realized what happened. Poseidon was sending a message: You wanna play with the big boys? Well, let’s see how you handle this!
I only had time to give a small whimper. I spun around and started swimming like mad so I could ride it – scared or not, that was the biggest wave I’ve ever seen in person, I wasn’t going to waste it! But that wave proved to be too fast and crashed on top of me. I tumbled under the water, not knowing if I was going to make it up back and would be lost at sea forever . . . Until my feet found the sand. lol. I sprang back up to the surface and swam the fast I ever had, then ran up to my mom and sat beside her.
I think my mom knew what happened. She always kept at least one eye on us and she had that little smile that said, “I find something highly amusing but I’m trying to keep it from you.” But she didn’t say anything other than, “Are you ready for lunch?”
I had just had a close encounter with the real power of the ocean. For a brief moment, I thought I was going to die. So, naturally, I did what any ten year old would. I shook my head, claimed I was just thristy, and got back in the water not five minutes later. lol.
July 29th, 2009 at 11:24 am
so what was the 51st named?
July 29th, 2009 at 12:02 pm
@KingBob
Biff.
Biff is named in memory of the state Biff.
Anyways, This is why every self-respecting nerd carries a heroic novel around. Prefferably superman.
July 29th, 2009 at 12:24 pm
Buff Biff!
July 29th, 2009 at 12:35 pm
Biff is buff because he bought the Book of Biff Volume 4.
Order yours today!
July 29th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
@ kingbob: Perspective! Waswere it maybe the 49/40th at the time?
July 29th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
Or, if you prefer: ‘Biff’s buff because Biff bought Biff’s Book’.
July 29th, 2009 at 1:04 pm
If he looked like this all the time he would probably get into even more serious trouble.
July 29th, 2009 at 3:16 pm
@Chris;
Ah-ha! I *knew* my map was wrong! Now I know what happened to the missing state!
July 29th, 2009 at 3:21 pm
I burn too easily for the beach.
July 29th, 2009 at 10:33 pm
Hmm. I always wondered what religion biff was.
and I don’t mean what religion he worships.
July 29th, 2009 at 11:52 pm
One time I found a stream going into the ocean on the beach, as a little kid I thought it was a great spot to get dirt clods to throw. Turns out the water in that stream wasn’t what you would call sanitary…. Took a long time in the beach showers to wash the stink off.
August 1st, 2009 at 9:58 am
Further afield… Who can think of Sandmen without thinking of Logan’s Run and wondering whether Francis Seven would have made it outside if he had been as young and unimpressionable as Logan Six.
August 1st, 2009 at 10:02 am
@ MrD: Hey! That would make a great acronym.
(Speaks multiple “Bs” by means of flippant finger against lips)
September 18th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
@Chris: So it’s your fault my house is falling into the water?
@i.half4: I’m here because I got lost in this website, looking for a comic.
(and I just finished Chris Moore’s Lamb, so I thought of THAT Biff, and here I am.) The comic had a rock in a cave w/ the punchline: “that’s what she said.”